I'd love you if I could
by Immortalrunes
Summary: Clary left Jace and their daughter 5 years ago. Now she's back. Will love blossom or will Jace push her away? Can things ever be the same? Afterall, the course of true love never does run smooth.
1. Trailer

**I'd love you, if I could Trailer**

**Screen shows title then goes black**

**While the screen is still black =**

"I can't do this anymore,"

**Shows Clary shoving a tiny pink bundle into Jace's arms**

"Clary-" Jace called. "We-we can make this work"

**Screen goes dark, then to Clary packing her bags.**

"No, I don't love you anymore"

**Shows Jace broken hearted and lost holding a wailing baby. Then fast forwards to the future. 5 year old Clarabelle (belle) running up to Jace. Next, Jace and Belle on the street walking.**

"Jace!"

**Shows Jace (23 yrs old) now carrying Belle ignoring Clary (21 yrs old.)**

"Why won't you listen to me?"

"You left! Remember? Left, just left me with our month old kid."

**Shows Clary now pleading.**

"I - I was 16, I wasn't ready to start a family"

"You think I was ready ?"

**Shows Clary crying, room spinning and Clary's flashback of memories. (COB,COA,COFA)**

**Shows Isabelle-**

"I think you should hear her out"

**Shows Clary and Jace watching Belle play with her toys.**

"Why did you leave?"

"I had no other choice"

"Bullshit, you had a million other choices, I know you, What was the real reason you left?"

"I-I can't tell you"

**Shows Jace killing demons, and returning home hurt. Then Clary sitting by his bedside.**

"I love you Jace, I always have and I would've loved you, if I could."

**Coming soon to a computer near you,**

**after 5 reviews :)**


	2. Chapter 1 if things had gone differently

**I'd love you if I could**

**Ch 1- If it had gone differently**

**A/N: So, as promised, after 5 reviews I would post the first chapter. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I got 12 reviews instead of 5 ! I thought it mignt be fun to write a trailer since I've seen it in a couple of stories. It actually helped me think of ideas. So I've come up with a conclusion. Trailers are helpful. lol I might update tomorrow, cause I'll be starting to write the second chapter after posting this. First chapter of a story on May 21, 2011. Coincedence? :)**

_Love is so short, forgetting is so long._

__

Jace trudged down the stairs groggily, awakened by the small giggles of the child downstairs. Once he got down to the dining room, the tinkling laughter grew more prominent.

"Good morning, my little angel"

"morning daddy" She greeted with a shrill voice. Jace smiled and went to make himself some breakfast. _No cereal_ he thought as he looked at the empty cupboard. Walking down the hall he passed a calendar. The calendar that had a specific date circled. The calendar that marked the exact date Clary had left. The day his heart broke into a million pieces and was never the same again.

**5 years ago**

_Jace walked around the institute. What was taking Clary so long to get groceries? Finally, after 15 minutes of pacing back and forth he heard the elevator chime announcing Clary's arrival, ending his stressful line of thoughts. He watched Clary step out of the elevator with a strange look on her face. _

_"Clary? Baby, what's wrong?" he asked concerned._

_"Nothing," just then, the newborn gave out a loud cry that echoed off the walls of the institute. "Clarabelle's crying, I'm gonna go check on her," and she hurried off in the other direction. Jace shrugged and went to the his and Clary's room. The room, that was previously only occupied by Jace, filled with wedding pictures and drawings now that Clary shared it. After about 10 minutes, the crying had stopped but Clary was still in the room, 20 minutes after. He went to check on her just in case anything happened. She was still just getting the hang of her skills. Passing by, he heard a hushed whisper._

_"Remember, I'll always love you, you and your daddy. You'll always be in my heart, no matter where I am. I have to do this. I'm so sorry." What was she talking about? Just then he heard footsteps aproaching the door so he quickly went into the next room. The library. She entered with Clarabelle still clutched tightly in her arms knowing that Jace must be studying up on new species of demons, a different kind of fighting technique, or researching. Clary studied Jace's expression. He looked confused, something was bothering him. She knew what he was feeling just by looking at his face. The way his eyebrows knit in concentration, and when that adventurous sparkle in his eyes dimmed. _

_"Where were you?"_

_"Getting groceries, " she said nervously._

_"Why'd you take so long?" _

_"W-well there was a long line," she stammered her voice getting higher and higher making it seem like she was asking a question._

_"Stop lying Clary, I can see it in your eyes," She knew this was a chance, and she took it._

_"I'm not! If you think you know me so goddamn well, you don't!" Startled by her outburst, Jace immediately felt guilty._

_"I'm sorry, I'm just worried about you," He stepped closer to her and put a comforting hand on her arm which she swatted away. _

_"You know what Jace, I can't do this anymore," She cried and shoved the tiny pink bundle into Jace's arms. _

_"Wha-what do you mean? We can make this work." He stammered and he NEVER stammered._

_"We can't make this work. We aren't gonna work. It's just too hard, and I'm sick and tired of this life."_

_"No, Clary, don't just throw everything away. What about everything we've been through. You can't just give up on us. What about Clarabelle?"_

_"I'm sure you can take care of her. Just-just tell her that I love her. And it's that. Everything we've been through. I never wanted this life. But you all just had to involve me in it. Never asked me what I want."_

_"Clary, we can get through this, it doesn't have to be this way."_

_"No, I don't love you anymore." And that was when Jace's heart shattered. The look of pure agony on his face was evident on his face and almost made Clary turn back. Almost. But she couldn't._

_"There's someone else,"She knew he would make that assumption. _

_"That's none of your fucking buisiness." His face was not filled with rage. But it was the only way he could let her go. She had gotten this far, she couldn't give up now. Clary looked back once more ,whispered an I love you into the wind and fled, leaving Jace shocked and contained with sadness now that the words were sinking in. _

He always wondered what would've happened if things were different. If she had stayed. Would they be happy? Belle, him and Clary? Those were questions that would never be answered, and he knew it but that couldn't keep him from wondering. Maybe they would have a happy ending if things had gone differently.

Clary breathed in the fresh air standing on the balcony of her apartment. She sighed. Today was the day. The day she made the decision that filled her life with regret and sorrow. In her hand, she held a picture of her, Jace, and newborn baby Clarabelle. They had decided on the name Clarabelle from Isabelle and Clary's names. She smiled remembering the day she threw the name book on Jace's bed frustrated when she couldn't find a perfect name and when Jace came over to comfort her. Suddenly the doorbell rang, interrupting Clary's thoughts. She opened the door and gasped,shocked at the person standing behind it.


	3. Chapter 2 Moments like these

**I'd love you if I could**

**Chapter 2- Moments like these**

**A/N: I'm updating on my birthday. How nice am I right? Just kidding. So thanks for all the reviews. I can't believe it! 22 reviews for 2 chapters (technically one)! Such a great response to this story... btw does anyone know what you press to make the lines seperating different parts show up on ff? :)**

**Disclamer: I don't own TMI... blah blah blah the usual :)**

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><p><strong>Love.<strong>

_It's like lightning, you get struck once,_

_and baby, it __kills_.

* * *

><p><em>She opened the door and gasped,shocked at the person standing behind it.<em>

* * *

><p><em>_<br>_It was Alexis, with 10 huge shopping bags in her hands and on the ground. She wore a big cheerful smile as if standing in front of her friend's door with enough clothes to last years was perfectly normal.

"Lex, what are you doing?"Clary said, her eyes still bugging out, eyeing her bags.

"Well, I thought we would do a girls night. You know, makeovers, movies that type of thing." After a long pause, she added, "Well aren't you gonna invite me in?"

"Oh! sorry, " Clary said as Alexis carried some of her bags in followed by Clary carrying the others. Once they put down the extremely heavy, to Clary's surprise, bags of clothes, they settled down on Clary's velvet colored couch. Lex filled in Clary on her shopping trip, while Clary pretended to be interested. She reminded Clary of Isabelle, her ex-best friend. She figured Isabelle hated her now, now that she left. Lex had been her only friend, and she was human. When Clary left 5 years ago, she had let go of their world too. The shadowhunting world. She regreted leaving, but it was the only way, but she desperately wanted to see their daughter and Jace. She wondered how they looked like now and how their life was. It was getting harder and harder to not go running back to the institute. It was one of the reasons why she moved back to New York. To feel closer to them. She would be happy with just a glimpse of them.

"Hello? Earth to Clary, you there?" Lex snapped her fingers in front of her face.

"Sorry spaced out there"

"S'ok" and she began to continue talking animately about her day. Clary swore, she acted like a teenager instead of a 22 year old, which was a year older than Clary.

"-so I went in this jewelry shop and found these really cute earrings!" She took a big breath and continued making hand gestures while she talked. "Then I went in Wet Seal, Anthropology, and got this really amazing Chanel purse! Well I found it with some help. I met this girl at Chanel, about our age. Well we had so much in common. It was like we were twins or something. So we shopped together and she gave me her number too. We're supposed to meet her and go on a shopping spree on Tuesday. Wanna come?" She talked excitedly as she pulled out a slip of paper.

_154-8888_

The number looked familiar, but she couldn't remember where she had seen it before.

"I don't know." she said undecidedly.

"Come on, it'll be fun, go somewhere for once, instead of just staying at home all day with your sketchpad."

"Ok" Clary said reluctantly. Lex was very convincing when she wanted to be.

"So... what's her name?"

"Hmmm, come to think of it, I don't know."

"So you're saying, you shopped with someone a whole day, exchanged numbers, and planned to meet each other to go shopping a_gain_ and you don't know her name." It was so like Lex. She sighed and shook her head then carried Lex's remaining bags into the house.

Jace sighed and shook his head as he carried the rest of the seraph blades into the house, looking at the mess Belle had made. Toys and books were strewn all around the room and Belle had settled herself into a tiny corner playing happily with her toys.

"Daddy, what are you doing?" She asked innocently looking up. Jace quickly stood in front of the blades. The family (Jace and the Lightwoods) had thought it would be good for Belle to have a normal childhood, and it would be her choice to be in the shadowhunting world or not. Nobody but the Lightwoods and a few other mundanes knew that Belle existed. Which meant the Clave was unaware of her, and they all tried to keep it that way. Who knew what they would do if they found out that Belle had 2 parents with angel blood.

"Nothing, Belle, just bringing in some old stuff." He replied. The five year old just nodded and ran off thinking nothing of the sparkling objects behind Jace's unmoving body. A moment later, she came back with something behind her back.

"Daddy, I made something for you at school." She said with a shrill voice, smiling. Jace couldn't help but smile back at her. She reached behind her and pulled out a card. Jace took it from her hands and looked at it. Inside it said:

To the bwest dady eva!

I lov yu

On the outside it was a big heart with lots of glitter. Jace figured she probably dumped the whole bottle onto the card. She loved glitter and would put generous amounts on everything.

She looked up at Jace, "Do you like it?"

"Of course, sweetie, I love it, Thank you" He replied, his heart melting at the sincere expression on Belle's face. He bent down and hugged her. No matter what happened, it was worth it. He'd give anything, for moments like these.


	4. Chapter 3 Hope

**I'd love you if I could**

**chapter 4**

**Hope**

**A/N: I can't believe I havent updated since almost a month! Yes excuses, excuses here they are: Finals, end of the year stuff, blah blah blah. Anyway, this chapter was only half of the chapter but I'm going divide it into 2 chapters. The second part will probably be up in the next 3 days. I know, this chapter is beyond short, but that's all I could write today, and I wanted to post this chapter as early as I could. And the good news is, since it's summer, I'll be able to update more often. :) So... ENJOY**

_If a kiss was a raindrop, I'd send you a shower. If a hug was a second, I'd send you an hour. If a smile was water I'd send you the sea. If you needed love, I'd send you me._

Jace sat on the cream colored couch watching Belle play with her dolls. His thoughts drifted to Clary once again. It was like a tattoo, even if you cover it up, it was still there. Deep down, it was still there. He thought about if Clary ever thought about Belle, about him. He thought about how happy she had been about having Belle. She had read to her before she was born, nad even asked him to play (piano) evey night believing it would help her develop musical talents. He would think she was going overboard with everything, but it proved that she loved her so he agreed. He didn't know what changed that, but Clary had left Belle without a mother. Everyone pitched in taking care of Belle, trying to fill in that missing spot, but it just wasn't the same.

*****FLASHBACK*****

Clary threw down the baby name book she had been looking through for the past hour, angrily. She wanted to find the perfect name, one that was meaningful. She was frustrated, and was growing more and more agitated due to her mood swings. Just then, she felt an arm snake around her waist.

"What's wrong?" He whispered into her ear making her shiver. He still had that effect on her even though they would be having a baby together, and she believed he always would.

"I just can't find the perfect name." She said as frustration built up again.

"How about naming him after somebody," He suggested, winking.

"What makes you think the baby will be a boy? But good idea."

"Of course, I thought of it" Clary playfully slapped him in the arm, then went back to putting names together.

"How about Clarabelle Celine Lightwood?"

"And you said _I_ was self-centered." She glowered at him.

"Fine, but if he's a boy, I get to name him Jace jr." He finished with a smug look on his face.

"_If_ we have a boy, we'll name him Max Stephen Lightwood," seh said, and when Jace stuck out his bottom lip into an adorable pout," she added," and our second male child will be named Jace jr." Jace smiled brightly,"But we're calling him JJ."

"Ok, JJ it is, I could live with that."

"She or he is going to be wonderful, our little angel" She said.

Jace chuckled, "She/he has angelic parents afterall." He leaned down and pressed his lips to her stomach.

"So this goes all back to you doesn't it?"She teased.

"Maybe"

"Ass"She said with a smile.

"You love me anyway"

"Maybe"

"What's that supposed to mean?"He said squinted his eyes. Clary giggled. Then came the silence, it wasn't awkward at all, in fact, it was comfortable.

"I love you" Jace said out of nowhere but Clary answered anyway with an "I love you too"

She leaned into him and breathed in. His smell was comforting, she didnt think she would last a day without it.

And there they sat, Clary (six months pregnant) snuggled into Jace's chest, for the rest of the night. Neither felt the need to move, or that this was a bore. They just wanted to enjoy the moment, while it lasted.

*****END OF FLASHBACK*****

He couldn't understand why she had left. Clary had loved Clarabelle ever since she found out she was pregnant. She had told him she didn't love him anymore, but he could've sworn on teh night she left he had seen pain, sorrow, and especially regret in her eyes. He believed she had left for another reason. Although he was beyond pissed at her for it, the thought gave him hope. Hope that she would come back.


	5. Chapter 4 A locket, with love

**I'd love you if I could**

**chapter-4 locket of love**

**A/N: I haven't updated in forever! I didn't realize it had been that long. Probably won't take as long for the next chapter, but no promises. This chapter is a little longer than the last to make up for it. And I have 3 questions to ask you guys.**

**1: any ideas for a new penname? I want it to be related to TMI and have some sort of deep meaning. I can't think of anything! **

**2: Also, I need some suggestions of teen sitcoms to watch. Any ideas?**

**3: Lastly, do you guys know any good teen paranormal romance books? No vampire ones**

**though, maybe a book like TMI?**

**Plz answer in review. Thanks so much. :)**

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><p><em>"Once you have learned to love, you have learned to live"<em>

* * *

><p>"Daddy, look what I found," Belle held up a small velvet box to her father. Jace took it gently from her and examined it.<p>

"Where did you find it, honey?" She said nothing but pointed to the small shelf of books by her box of toys. He averted his attention back to the little box he was balancing on his hands. On the edge of the box there was an engraving..._Open this with your heart._ He knew instantly it was from Clary which made him all the more was a locking rune on it, a rune that Clary had clearly created. His heart raced as he thought about what it meant.

After a few seconds his mind sparked with an idea.

"Belle, can daddy see your necklace for a minute?" Belle just simply raised up her necklace to him. He then opened the locket and looked longingly at the picture of all three of them. They were at the hospital the day Belle was born. He slowly lifted the picture and found a miniscule key. Belle watched her father with fascination as he put the key in the lock and opened the box.

Inside was a small envelope. Jace opened it gently with shaking hands. It was a letter, bordered by tear stains. His mind was spinning as he began to read.

_Dear Jace and Clarabelle,_

_I am sitting in our room writing this letter. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I can't stand the thought of leaving you both. But it is out of my hands, I am protecting you. As long as I'm gone, it will be safe. _

_I know you may never forgive me for leaving. You might have even forgotten me and moved on, and I don't blame you. But know that I will never forget you, I won't ever move on. Wherever I am at this moment, I am thinking of you. _

_Whatever I had to tell you the night I left, I don't mean. I will always love you, forever. Tell Clarabelle that I am always with her in her heart, and that I love her._

_You may not even read this letter, you may have burned it or tore it in half the moment you saw it, but if you do read it, know that I am very sorry. I know sorry is not enough, and you probably hate me right now. _

_Looking behind my shoulder, I see you sleeping soundly, making me more guilty of what I'm about to do. Clarabelle is in my arms, and it just tears me apart that I am leaving you both. I know you will be the best father to Belle. I can do nothing now but beg for your forgiveness._

_I love you both,_

_Clary_

Stunned, Jace dropped the letter from his hands.

"What's wrong , daddy?" Belle said in a cute voice running over.

"Nothing, baby, why don't you go play with your toys"

"Ok, daddy"

Jace settled in to the small cushioned chair in the corner of the room. He didn't know what to think of the letter. She had thought he moved on? He had not dated since he had met her. Alec and Isabelle were relieved that he didn't go back to his manwhore phase. In fact, the only thing that stopped him was Clarabelle. He loved her to death, and couldn't do that to her. She deserved the best childhood that he could give her.

* * *

><p><strong>Clary<strong>

"Lexi, are you purposely trying to kill me?" Clary asked her friend from inside her room.

She heard Lexi sigh,"You seriously need a new wardrobe and you should be happy that you have a fashion extraordinaire to help you." Clary froze, those words sounded so much like what Izzy would say.

"Hello? are you gonna get outta there or not?" Lexi said impatiently.

"Not" I said stubbornly. Yes, I had not lost by stubborn personality.

"Come on, Clary" Boy, was she persistant. She would probably be out there all day if I didn't exit the room so I slowly stood up and opened the door.

"Oh my gosh, that looks so awesome on you!" She squealed. I turned around and looked in the mirror. She was right. The light color complimented my red hair, and made my emerald eyes sparkled and shone brighter.

"I guess it does sorta look good."

"Told you so"

"But I'm not wearing this on Tuesday, it's not like I'm going on a date or anything. We're just going to meet your newfound friend that you don't know the name of. "

"In my opinion, you always have to look good, besides she dresses gorgeously and you're my best friend, you have to look good. "

"So you're basically using me to impress your friend."

"If you put it that way, it sounds worse"

Clary sighed and said,"Fine, I'll help you"

Lexi sqealed satisfied and hugged Clary tightly. Clary squirmed in her tight grip and broke loose. "As long as you never do that again"

"I can't help it, you're an awesome friend"

Clary smiled.

"And speaking of dates, you gotta get yourself a man, girl. You haven't dated in like when, forever?"

Clary's smile faded guiltily. She still hasn't told Lexi, she had a husband and a daughter. To Lexi, she just moved out here, to get away from her parents. So far, she had been datelacking and working at the small cafe around the corner from her apartment.

"I'm not interested in dating, I'm just gonna focus on my job for now,"_ And getting the guts to go see Jace_, she added in her head.

She promised herself, that she would get the courage to go see the love of her life and her beautiful daughter. One day, she thought.

_One day_


	6. Chapter 5 Shock

**I'd love you if I could**

**chapter 5 - Shock**

**A/N: This isn't a long chapter but at least it's a fast update right? As you've probably seen, I changed my penname to immortalrunes. **

**I forgot to mention in the last two chapters but if you go to my profile, there's a trailer for this story that I made. I would apprieciate it if you take a look at it.**

**Thanks to those who have reviewed on every single chapter:**

**Bookninja15,**

**hawaiiangrl,**

**and**

**Willowfur**

**And to those who reviewed on at least one chapter:**

**Fallencreature101,**

**SabrinaWinston267,**

**Saphire12,**

**Jemsrwe,**

**Numbersixisbadass,**

**brittneybaby98,**

**LivingIntheNow,**

**KSD1,**

**icyfirelove3,**

**softballplayer1,**

**jacelover4eva,**

**Rockyrocks919,**

**LovefromHell,**

**RyRybearz,**

**4evrJace11,**

**and**

**Raksha-dancewaterdance**

**(sorry if they are mispelled, or I'm missing a name)**

**Thanks again for reviewing ;)**

_"Life is a big mistake, you just need to make it a good one"_

**Clary's POV **

(Tuesday)

I sighed and shook my head at Lexi's over-excitedness (not sure if that's a word) as she dragged me into the car. She was literally bouncing off the walls.

"Lex, calm down, it's not like you're meeting the queen of England or something." I said as an attempt to calm her.

"Oh, but it's close! She's like the queen of fashion, you should've seen her clothes! Ohmygod,they were like the best, I was so jealous, you'll love her!" She almost shouted, grinning like crazy. I said nothing, and turned the radio up. The song Enchanted by Taylor Swift came on.

___"__There I was again tonight  
>Forcing laughter, faking smiles<br>Same old tired, lonely place_

_Walls of insincerity  
>Shifting eyes and vacancy<br>Vanished when I saw your face_

_All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you_

_Your eyes whispered "Have we met?"  
>Across the room your silhouette<br>Starts to make its way to me  
>The playful conversation starts<br>Counter all your quick remarks  
>Like passing notes in secrecy"<em>

This song alone almost brought tears to my eyes. There was so many similarities to how I met Jace at the pandemonium. The next song that came on was also by Taylor Swift. Last Kiss.

_"I do remember  
>The swing of your step<br>The life of the party, you're showing off again  
>And I roll my eyes and then<br>You pull me in  
>I'm not much for dancing<br>But for you I did_

_How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something  
>There's not a day when I don't miss those rude interruptions<em>

_Never thought we'd have a last kiss  
>Never imagined we'd end like this<em>

_Your name, forever the name on my lips"_

Damn Taylor Swift and her surprisingly accurate lyrics. The car ride was silent but I could practically sense the waves of happiness bouncing off of her.

10 minutes later we arrived at the small cafe in the plaza. We parked and went inside. Lexi looked around excitedly. I wonder if this mysterious person would blow off Lexi. That would crush her, Lexi desperately wanted a shopping partner as I refused.

I slowly sipped my latte looking at the door.

**Isabelle**

**(third person POV)**

Isabelle rushed around the institute. She looked at her brand new glittering watch that said 10:00. She was supposed to go meet some girl she met at the mall in half an hour.

"Oh, hi Belle, where are you goin?" Isabelle asked Belle who was running as fast as she could with her short little legs.

"To pway with my toys." Isabelle smiled when she said play. Although Belle was 5, and got most of the sounds right, some still troubled her but everybody thought it was adorable.  
>"Ok off you go,"Isabelle kissed Belle's forehead, and put her back down on the ground.<p>

She then raced out the door.

**Clary's POV**

I took another look at the clock. It was 10:40. 10 minutes late. I was starting to get worried that this mysterious person wouldn't show up.]

Suddenly, the bells on the door jingled. My head snapped up to the direction of the door.

A bright flash of sparkles reflected from whoever's clothes and hit my eye. I winced at the bright light and blinked to clear my eyes. She was tall, with extra tall heels, which made her really tall. Long black hair, and flashy expensive clothes. She was also wearing a black shaded sunglasses. She turned everybody's heads, and I'm sure the entire female population in the cafe was jealous, including myself.

She began walking over to our table, gazes still on her, but she looked oblivious. She was probably used to it. At that instant, she took off her sunglasses and looked straight at me. I looked up at her, and almost died of surprise. My face was the definition of shock, and she returned it with the same look of her own. One name flashed in my mind.

Isabelle

**A/N: Also listen to the mentioned songs by Taylor Swift**

**Tell me: is the story too slow, or too fast, or just right?**

**at least 5 REVIEWs for the next chapter**


	7. Chapter 6 Those green eyes

**I'd love you if I could**

**chapter 6 - Those green eyes**

**A/N: Okay, this is a really long chapter, worked hard on it. It's like 9 pages long while usually it's 3 1/2 to 4 pages. PLEASE READ ESPECIALLY those who are confused. **

**Clary moved to New York to feel closer to them and possibly see them (as said in chapter 2)**

**She stopped being a shadowhunter and went on the down low as a mundane (chapter 2)**

**left 5 years ago**

**City of FAllen Angels never happened since I started the story before the book.**

**The story is about 7 years after COG (sorry if their ages weren't right, I had to change them to fit the story)**

**Just putting that out there, so anyway, ENJOY :)**

**By the way, thanks for the many reviews !**

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><p><em>"It doesn't matter where you go in life, what you do or how much you have. It's who you have beside you"<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Clary's POV<strong>

"I-Isabelle?" I stuttered. Out of nowhere I heard a shriek and the next thing I knew, she was hugging me like the world was ending.

"OMG, Clary,y-you're here, alive!" She pulled back and grinned a grin I didn't even know existed. Then her expression turned serious.

"Where were you?" She said with a stern yet curious tone. "We looked everywhere for you!"

"Izzy, just calm down, okay, I know this may be hard to believe, but I've been in New York for about a year now."

"And you didn't bother to come see us?" She almost shouted. I eyed the chair next to me, hinting her to sit down.

"I have reasons," I looked down, ashamed.

"And?"

" I wanted to see you guys, but I was afraid. I mean I left, and didn't think you guys would want to see me."

"You should've anyway." She said, her expression lightening.

"I'm really sorry."

"I forgive you, but only for that, I'm still mad at you for leaving." The whole time, Lexi was just sitting there, stunned. I felt guilty for forgetting her, while I was all caught up in the conversation. I looked over at her.

She noticed me looking at her, "You guys know each other?"

"You didn't tell her?" _Is she mundane?_ Isabelle mouthed at me. I nodded.

"Know about what?" Lexi asked with curious eyes. She was fascinated.

"Can I talk to Clary for a second?" Isabelle pulled me over to the corner of the cafe.

"Are you gonna tell her?" I immediately knew what she was talking about.

"Yes, she deserves to know." We walked back to the table.

"Clary?" Isabelle gestured to me.

"Ok, Lexi, I have to tell you something, please don't judge until I finish,"She nodded and I continued," 5 years ago, I left my husband and daughter,"She gasped, "No they weren't bad, I just had to leave them to protect them."

"From what?"

"I can't tell you, I'm sorry," I had to protect her from that world. She couldn't end up like Simon. Simon. I left him too, he must've been crushed.

I turned to Isabelle, "how's Simon?

"First, really upset, I mean anyone would be if their best friend just left without a goodbye."

"I'm such a bad friend!" I buried my face in my hands.

"Clary, not to make you feel bad but what about Luke, your mom, Alec, Magnus,mom and dad, Maia, Jace and Belle. They all miss you, they want you back, Jace might not admit it, but he needs you. Belle needs you. You have to go back and see them."

"I'll go back, in time, but now, I just, I'm not ready. Isabelle please, don't tell them you saw me. I'll go back, I promise."

"Fine, but you better."

"Thank you," I gave her a hug.

* * *

><p><strong>Jace<strong>

**(third person)**

Jace held Belle in his arms as he walked down the street to the playground. He took her there at least once a week, so she could meet up with her friends. Jace was never one for sitting still on the little park bench, as he was used to running around fighting off demons. But when he watched her play, it was worth it, and he sat through the whole hour. All the single mothers were always throwing themselves at him whenever he came, but he just watched Belle play, paying no attention to were flirting shamelessly in front of their children.

_Do they have any respect for themselves? _He thought to himself.

Belle was peacefully climbing up the steps, laughing. Jace smiled and sighed. If only she knew how much harder life would be.

"_Your little hand's wrapped around my finger  
>And it's so quiet in the world tonight<br>Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming  
>So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light<br>To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret  
>I'd give all I have, honey<br>If you could stay like that_

_Oh darling, don't you ever grow up  
>Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little<br>Oh darling, don't you ever grow up  
>Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple<br>I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart  
>And no one will desert you<br>Just try to never grow up, never grow up_"

* * *

><p><strong>Clary's POV<strong>

After leaving the cafe, I got dragged by Izzy and Lexi into the mall. As we entered the door, I looked up in horror. The mall was HUGE. Both of them looked around in joy, and pulled me along into the nearest shop.

3 hours later, we all found an outfit. I got a yellow shirt, with a frilly fringe on the side reaching downwards, a black jacket, and with some persuading, black pumps, instead of we hit the jewelry and makeup persuaded me into buying a black necklace to go with my outfit, lip gloss, and some mascara. On the way out, I saw a pin that said _thank you for noticing, I am awesome,_ and I knew I had to get it.

http:/www(dot)polyvore(dot)/cgi/set(?)id=34120015

**(link on my profile if you're too lazy to replace the dots)**

"So, what's next?" I asked, looking at them. Lexi looked deep in thought, while Isabelle just looked around aimlessly.

"Ok clary, you'll have to see them soon enough, why don't you visit all the people you used to know. I mean, even if you're not ready to talk to them, you could just look from far away, see how they're doing."

"I guess, I really want to see them though, Is that ok with you Izzy?" I asked.

"Yeah sure, and you'll need my help. I know exactly where they all are." She smiled, clearly happy that I had agreed to see them.

* * *

><p><strong>15 minutes later...<strong>

"Izzy are you sure they're here?" I asked anxiously.

"Yes, I even called them." She confirmed, we had agreed to see Luke and Jocelyn(my mom) first. We were all crouching down behind a car, peeking out.

A few minutes later, I shouted "Look there they are," Izzy put her hand on my mouth and shushed me. I took her hands off and mumbled an apology. I kept my eyes glued to them. They haven't changed a bit. They were still pretty young for their age, but I had learned that shadowhunters aged slower than mundanes. Luke and Jocelyn's arms were connected, they looked so happy. Even far away, you could tell they were in love. They were happy, and that's all I could ask for.

* * *

><p><strong>5 minutes later...<strong>

"Hey Simon, meet me at the bus stop down the street ok? Don't ask why, just go. I have to tell you something. Ok bye" Izzy said into the phone. Lexi and I sat on the bench, holding up a magazine to cover our faces, and wore big hats. Izzy was standing, waiting for Simon. A moment later, Simon appeared wearing a gamer tee that said _I could be gaining levels right now._ Good old Simon with gamer tees. I shook my head and smiled.

"Hey Simon." Izzy said to him.

"Hey, so what did u need to tell me."

"Um, that I uh like your shirt, well that's it, bye" She finished enthusiastically, and pushed him along. He fixed his glasses, turning back giving Izzy a weird look and continued down the street.

* * *

><p><strong>8 minutes later...<strong>

This time we didn't hide behind anything, because Alec and Magnus were sitting near a window in a restaurant.

"They finally got together?" Izzy nodded.

"They've been together for 3 and a half years now."

"Thats good." I was really happy for them. Magnus was as sparkly as ever talking enthusiastically, waving his hands. While Alec sat and looked fascinated with whatever he was talking about. This was what a happy ending looked like.

* * *

><p><strong>5 minutes later...<strong>

Hiding in a bush was really uncomfortable. Especially when you're with 2 other people squishing you to death.

And then, there was Maia, laughing. I don't think I've ever seen her this happy. There was a guy in front of her on the motorcycle. He got off and helped her off.

"Who's that?"

"That'sJordan, Maia's boyfriend of 4 years"

"Oh" was all I said as I watched them walk around the park hand in hand. So much had changed. So many people had found their other half. And I wondered if Jace was one of them. The thought of Jace with someone else broke her heart, but she knew it would probably happen. Especially since Jace was such a player before her.

"Izzy, is Jace with anyone?" I asked, my voice shaking. I wanted to know, but didn't at the same time. It was just so confusing.

"No," She stated, causing me to almost fall backwards from my squating position.

"No? What do you mean no? He's just so - He's so-"

She cut me off by saying, "I know, it's a surprise to us all. It's probably only because of Belle, but I think he's still not over you. He still looks at your pictures, tells Belle about you. He won't admit it, but I know he hopes that you'll come back one day. " I felt relieved, and a rush of happiness. Jace hasen't forgotten me. I smiled with hopefullness that he'll forgive me when I had the guts to go to him. I know he probably won't welcome me with open arms but, in time, I hoped he knew that I didn't want to leave. Lexi looked at me with that w_hy-is-she-grinning-like-an-idiot _look, but I didn't care.

* * *

><p><strong>? minutes later...<strong>

I felt nauseous. Butterflies were fluttering about in my stomach. In a few minutes, I would see Jace, and my little baby girl.

"Ok they should be back in a few minutes. "

3 minutes later, they came into view and my heart started pounded. Jace looked ... he looked better than ever. Got more muscles (not body builder muscle) and had the same golden blonde hair. He was carrying little Clarabelle in his arms. She had grown so much. She looked so adorable in his arms, and looked so much like him. Tears started welling up in my eyes.

"Wow, is that Jace? He is hot," Isabelle gave Lexi a look.

"Is this really the time?"

"Sorry," She said raising up her hands. I continued looking at them. Suddenly, I felt a rush of adrenaline, and ran across the street. I heard my name being called across the street, but I didn't turn back.

"Jace!" I called to him.

**Jace's POV**

I heard my name being called by a familiar voice. A voice that sounded like Clary. Did I miss her so much that I was hallucinating? I gripped Clarabelle tighter and walked faster, while the voice continued to call my name. I finally stopped and turned around to meet...

_Those green eyes_


	8. Chapter 7 A world of their own

**I'd love you if I could**

**chapter 7 - World of their own**

**A/N: Wow... I haven't updated in forever. Sorry if this chapter is crappy. I tried to write this like a hundred times. Huge writers block. Extra thing to know if you don't... Clary and Jace are not legally divorced. So technically they're still married. To anyone who actually reads the A/Ns, guess my favorite color and get a preview of the next chapter. If you guess right you get an extra long one, but if you guess at all you'll still get one. Got it? I'm starting 7th grade in a few days and I don't know... maybe a lot of homework? So I might be updating at random times... just letting you know. Okay... on with the story :)**

**Disclamer: I forgot to put these... Well I don't own TMI :(**

**Warning: Literally just like 2 curse words...putting this just in case**

_True love is when you shed a tear and still want him. It's when he ignores you and you still love him. It's when he loves another, but you still smile and say 'I_

_m happy for you' When all you really do is cry... and cry._

**Last chapter:**

He turned around and met...

Those green eyes

"C-Clary?" He stuttered, almost dropping Belle. She nodded, put on a small smile, and walked forward slowly. She stopped when the distance between them shortened. The stared into each other's eyes, standing in the middle of the bustling street. People walked rapidly around them, but they remained frozen, completely unaware of the world around them. They were in a world of their own.

Ten minutes later, they were sat in a bakery. The outside world was busy, full of orders, the smell of fresh baked pastries and coffee. In their world, it was complete silence. Just awkward silence. Silence that Clary decided she needed to break. She looked over at Belle who was sitting and playing in the corner of the shop with the other kids her age. She looked back at Jace. He was facing the other way, as to try to not look into her eyes again. She took a deep breath.

"J-Jace" She said shakily. Silence, no answer.

"Jace" She tried again. This time her voice was bolder, stronger. No answer...again.

"Jace" She said louder.  
>He rolled his eyes and turned to her, "What?"<p>

She hadn't prepared for this. She was shaking with nervousness running through her body at 100mph. She hadn't expected that he would actually turn and answer her. Ok, what to say, what to say? She racked her brain for somewhere to start. He looked at her almost trembling figure and his eyes softened. Had she lost her tough side? The side that could stand up for herself while she was gone? The look in her eyes was almost enough for him to run over to her and forgive her. Almost.

"So, how have you been," Clary attempted to start the conversation.

"Oh, how am I doing without a wife? Great. How is Belle doing without a mother? Great. What do you fucking think?" He responded sarcastically. Clary was taken back by this response, but she should've expected that he wasn't going to play nice and strike up a friendly conversation. Especially since he was Jace.

"I'm sorry." She said quietly, but loud enough for Jace to hear.

"Well sorry isn't enough, I don't even know why I'm sitting here right now. It's seriously pathetic." He said with an angry expression, but inside, he was exploding with guilt as he watched her expression change drastically and her heart break. He turned away so he wouldn't go back to her and beg for forgiveness, and got Belle where she was playing. They left, left Clary sitting , looking at where Jace was a minute ago, sobbing.

Jace entered the insitute with his head down. Isabelle was waiting at the opening of the elevator for his arrival. He was too...he didn't know how to describe the feeling... to ask her why. Isabelle had a huge smile thinking they would get their fairytale ending, Clary would be coming home next to him, and he would be carrying Belle. And Isabelle was not that dumb. She knew that the frown on his face and him looking down were not good signs that it had went well. She was definitely curious about what happened, and she wanted to keep her mouth shut, so she wouldn't irritate him. For some reason, she went with her instincts.

Jace started to walk toward his room, and Isabelle followed, sitting on his bed. He put Belle down to play and he sat on his desk.

Isabelle decided to start the conversation,"How's your day? See anyone in particular...?" She put on a light smile trying to cover up the fact that the atmosphere was definitely not a cheerful one.

"No," he narrowed his eyes,"you knew?"

"Know about what?" Playing dumb was clearly the best option here.

"Clary," He pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned back against the wall.

"What about her?" Isabelle said, with the same aproach. Normally, Jace would've seen through her facade, but now, he was too conflicted to notice.

"I saw her today," He said in a quick whisper.

"What happened?" There. She asked it. No going back now.

"I don't know, I guess she just started talking and then I sort of just yelled at her," he said. Wow he must really be screwed up right now. Normally he would keep things to himself.

"Then?" Isabelle pressed.

He gave her a look but went on, " Well then I left, but she deserved it. She just got up and left. I - I'm - I don't know what to think anymore. She left and now all of a sudden she's back. What's that supposed to mean?" He looked up and noticed Isabelle's presence. " Why the hell am saying all this?" He said more to himself.

He scrunched his eyebrows,"Can you please just leave?" He stood up and led Isabelle quickly towards the door. He opened the door and made a gesturing wave.

Once she was out he told her, "If Belle wakes up, take care of her. I just need some time alone." His tone was cold and hard. Isabelle nodded and with a click of her heels, sped down the empty hallway.

**Clary xOxO XoXo**

I looked into the mirror of my bedroom and grimaced. I looked like a raccoon. Mascara was running down my face and circling my eyes. I know what you're thinking, Clary Fray- I mean Fairchild er Greymark now I guess, wearing mascara? Lexi started begging me to wear makeup, but I'm only wearing it this one time to please her. She reached out to grab a tissue, but accidentaly knocked down the picture frame. The frame shattered to pieces and made a light clinking sound when it touched the ground.

**Third person POV**

"Crap," she muttered. She bent down to clean the mess up. She began picking up the tiny pieces of glass in her hands. Her gaze trailed to the right where a picture of Clary and Jace. She picked up the picture and leaned up against the wall. They were sitting on a park bench holding hands, looking into each other's eyes, looking so in love. To an outsider, it must've looked like two teenagers who acted like they were gonna spend the rest of their lives together and break up 2 weeks later, but to them, it was so much more. Isabelle had taken the picture, and Clary had been mad at the time, but when she gave the red haired girl the picture, she was secretly thankful.

Now, the sight of the picture made her burst into tears. She slid down and was now in a sitting position hugging her knees and crying her eyes out. Again. As tears rolled down her cheeks, memories were flashing behind her eyes.

She remembered when she first met him at the pandemonium. She remembered how she was fascinated by how fast and graceful his movements were. She remembered the feel of his hands on her arm, his face contorted with concentration as he traced the rune on her arm. Most of all, she remembered the night he first kissed her on the rooftop. She willed the memories to stop, they were just too painful to remember. They didn't.

She thought of the time when he kissed her in the Seelie Court with so much passion. It took her breath away completely. She thought of the time when she saw him lying lifeless on the sand near lake lyn. She shuddered involuntarily. The pain of just the memory was unbearable. She thought of the relief and joy she felt when she opened her eyes with him staring down at her. Those feelings were so strong, it was impossible to forget even if she tried.

After half an hour of crying, she felt a strange determination. She was going to get Jace to forgive her. They were going to be happy again. Just like things should be. The threats had stopped for years now. And she was free to love him with everything in her, even if he hated her.

Everything was going to be okay.

Right?


	9. Chapter 8 A birthday to remember

**I'd love you if I could **

**chapter 8 - A birthday to remember**

**A/N: Just decided to get one more chapter up before school started. **

**Ok...favorite color was purple...**

**Remember:**

**It's been years after COG so the character's personality will change and mature a bit, but still have their old personalities if that makes sense?**

**Disclamer: Only in my dreams do I own Jace... * sigh ***

**Reccomendation of Fanfiction:**

**Turbulence by ddpjclaf... my fav ff, amazingly written, i read it like 6 times**

**Reccomended book:**

**Halo by Alexandra Adornetto for anyone who likes fluffy type books, it's my favorite book next to TMI **

"When I'm not with you, I feel like I'm wearing a pair of sunglasses that turns the world grey," he said.

"and when you're with me?" I asked softly.

"Everything's in technicolor."

Halo - by Alexandra

Adornetto

ClaraBelle squealed and giggled in delight as Isabelle lifted her up,"You're gonna be a big girl now aren't you, Belle?"

Belle nodded and held up five fingers,"I'm turning five!" She said proudly.

At that moment, a flustered looking Jace entered the room. Belle squirmed in Isabelle's grip to be put down. Her wish was immediately granted. As soon as she was put down, she ran too Jace and gave him a big hug, then returned to her "tea party".

"Thank the angel, you're here!" Jace looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"Ok, so I couldn't decide what color the napkins should be!" She exclaimed. Jace gave the whole party planning responsibility to her. One, because he was a guy, and guys do not plan parties, especially him. Two, it was starting to get annoying with Izzy begging him every waking hour of the day.

"I don't know, I love this lavender one, but I love the shade of this other one." She held up two samples. The lavender had a lace like fringe, how they managed to make it look realistic on a napkin, he didn't dare ask. The other one was a shade of teal.

"Whatever," He rolled his eyes. "It's not gonna be that big of a party, ... right?" He stared at her with serious eyes to make sure he got his point across.

"Well, I don't know what you would call big..." She trailed off.

"How many people are on the guest list?"

"Kids or adults?" She asked with a nervous smile. He rolled his eyes once again and let out an agitated sigh.

"Both?" He said with a _duh _tone.

"Oh, well 66?" Jace's eyes bulged.

"Izzy, when I "asked" you to plan a small party for a _five_ year old. I didn't mean invite 66 fu- people!" He caught himself before he cursed in front of Belle.

"Well sorry if I wanted to plan a great party. I mean she's only gonna turn five once!" She emphasized sorry in a snobby tone.

"Fine, but add one more to the list. Aline's visiting."

"And you would know that how?"

"I talked to her," he said that like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Izzy gave him a pointed look, and raised an eyebrow. "You know on a little plastic thing that you could talk into, a cellphone?"

"Don't phones not work in Idris?"

" I don't know, maybe they fixed it. I always thought that was annoying." He shrugged.

"Anyway, I told Maryse and she said Aline could stay in the institute. Well I gotta take Belle to school." He headed over to Belle and picked her up.

Izzy took a pencil from the nearby table and scribbled out 66. Next to it, she wrote 68, and smirked, an idea forming in her mind.

Isabelle dialed Clary's phone number...

One beep, two beep, three beeps... no answer. She tried again, and got the same result. She shook her head in worry, picked up her purse, and took off through the door.

Isabelle looked up at the building in front of her, and took the slip of paper out of her purse. She had secretly asked Lexi for Clary's address exactly for these purposes.

She entered the apartment building and went up to the 3rd floor. She walked down 2 empty hallways, and finally turned a left to her destination. She knocked. After a few moments, her worry increased. She knelt down and picked the lock with ease. Inside, she found Clary.

It took Clary a few minutes to acknowledge Isabelle's presence. She simply looked up for a second, and back down again. Once Isabelle saw her tear streaked face, she rushed to the redhead's side.

"What - "Her gaze landed on the picture laying in the sea of broken glass. Izzy put a comforting hand on Clary's back. The only thing that could be heard was Clary's broken sobs.

After about 15 minutes, Clary calmed down enough for Isabelle to tell her what she came to say. Isabelle took a piece of paper out of purse. She held it up for Clary to read. Clary looked down and shook her head, sending her red hair flying around.

"Why not?Clary, come on. "

"I - I don't know if I can handle seeing him again. And H-he hates me," Her bottom lip trembled and her voice broke at the the last sentence.

"No, he doesn't. Where's the fierce little redhead that burned down an entire ship? The one that saved all of us from Valentine? Aline's gonna be at the party. And living at the institute for a while. Jace invited her. It may be your last chance to fix everyone would be happy again. Clary -" Clary interrupted her.

"Maybe he's better off with her."

"Clary, don't think like that."Isabelle gave her a dissaproving glance. She took Clary's hand and pressed a slip of paper, covered in glitter of course, into her hand.

Clary looked at the piece of paper in her hands and scrunched up her eyebrows. "Why-"

"We had to rent a place as our "house". Most of the guests will be , just please think about it ok?" And with that she rushed out of the apartment with Clary looking after her, a look on her face as lost and confused as ever.

**Clary's POV**

I stepped on the trail of concrete leading to the house. I could hear voices of the happy children inside. I wonder which one was Belle's. I felt ashamed that I didn't recognize my own daughter's name. Stepping onto the front porch, I rang the door bell nervously. _Oh god, I hope Jace doesn't answer the do - . _The door opened before I had time to finish that thought, and thankfully it was Isabelle. She looked at me, shocked, then pulled me into a tight hug. She had to hunch down, one -because she was so much taller,two - because she was wearing heels and I was wearing flats.

"I knew you would come," she whispered in my ear. When she let go of me, I looked behind her.

"He's not here yet, he should be bringing Belle any minute now." She answered my unspoken question.

There was a moment of silence,"Aren't you going to invite me in?"

Isabelle quickly stepped aside and waved her in.

**Jace (third person POV)**

"Daddy do I have to eat this?" Belle looked disgustingly at the mashed green stuff called peas. She looked up at Jace with puppy dog eyes that Jace couldn't resist. It was hard to refuse to her even if it was good for her. Belle had learnt quickly that she could swerve her father to do almost anything when she gave him that look.

"Yes you do,"Jace said resolutely. "It's good for you. You'll be eating all that junk food at the party.

Belle crossed her arms as an attempt to look angry, but Jace found it rather cute,"Fine!" She grumbled and reluctantly ate another spoonful of the peas.

"Good girl," Jace said chuckling, and kissed Belle's forehead, before turning around to finish the dishes. Having a daughter really changed him. He started washing dishes and doing other stuff that he was never used to doing. He always just had takeout , as a result from avoiding Izzy's cooking.

**Clary's POV**

There was a creaking noise as the gate to the backyard, where the party was, opened.

Jace's beautiful head of gold looked around. I ducked behind Isabelle but kept my gaze on Jace. He was holding Belle with one hand and his other hand was...holding Aline's hand. Aline was half leaning on Jace. I always imagined her to be the clingy type. She had a small smile on her face, but her eyes told a different story. She looked like she wanted to leave this place full of disgusting little kids and start dry humping Jace right there. I glared at her even though I knew she couldn't see me. I was starting to see red as Aline leaned even closer to Jace, stroked his hair, and planted a kiss on him. I stormed over to them.

"What the hell are you doing?" I said to Aline.

"Oh, hi Clary, I thought you were..." She trailed off and gave me a fake tight smile.

"Why the hell are you here?" Jace said through his teeth.

"I was invited."I said smugly. I didn't know where I got the courage from, but I hoped it stayed, or else I'm screwed. Jace peered behind me and Izzy waved and gave him a guilty smile.

I crouched down a little and looked at Belle. She looked so adorable. Her gold colored hair, were in two pig tails and they shown in the sun. Her smile was radiant as she saw her friends. She was wearing a cute little purple dress. It was of course full of glitter.

"Hi, Belle, Happy birthday, do you like your party?" She nodded excitedly.

"I brought a present for you."I gave her a little wrapped box. She took it eagerly. And looked up at me giving me a big smile. The her smile faded and a puzzled look took over her face. She turned to Jace.

"Daddy? why does she look like mommy in the picture?"

Before he had a chance to reply I said,"That's because I am your mommy," A tear rolled down my face. Jace's eyes were shining with a sheen of reluctant tears. He blinked them away.

"Let's go Belle," He said with a hard edge to his voice, with a hint of happiness?

They walked away, and Aline turned to give me a glare, then smiled tauntingly, and mouthed _he's mine._

**That night**

"Daddy, what did that woman with red hair mean, when she said she was my mommy?" Jace looked over surprised that she remembered.

"Nothing,sweetie," He told her.

She was silent for a second,"Daddy, do you know what my wish was?"

"What was it, honey?" Knowing her, Jace thought she was gonna wish for a pony with lots of glitter, but what she said next surprised him.

"I want a mommy." She said

"Of course, Aline will be like your mommy."

"No, I mean a real mommy, _my _mommy."she said with an innocent look.

"Belle-"But she was already fast asleep. He sighed, turned on her nightlight, and shut the door.

_This was certainly, a birthday to remember._

**Quote that I love:**

"_You're the kind of friend that if my house was burning down; you'd be hitting on the fireman. You're the kind of friend that steals my umbrella in the rain to see how fast I can run. You're the kind of friend that laughs when I fall, then you trip me again. You're the kind of friend that ...can't bail me out of jail because you're sitting right beside me in the cell. Most of all, you're the kind o...f friend that will be with me until our last breathe. The kind that will be chasing me around the nursing home, trying to hit me with your walking stick when your old and saggy. "_


	10. Chapter 9 Her story

**I'd love you if I could **

**Chapter 9-Her story**

**A/N: This chapter was short, but I had a HUGE writer's block. But paragraph by paragraph, I managed to write a whole chapter. Jace isn't in this chapter (he'll definetely be in the next), but read this chapter anyway because it is CRUCIAL! If you don't, you won't get the story. The flashbacks might be a little confusing, but it's part of the , it's Jace and Isabelle in the present talking, then Isabelle Flashes back, to when Clary and her were talking, which is when Clary flashes back. Sorta confusing :/ But...anyway Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em>"When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure."<em>

* * *

><p>Clary and Jace were so caught up in the moment of their little "fight" , they didn't notice Isabelle watching, silently, by their side.<p>

* * *

><p>Isabelle exited the training room, glancing down at her watch, <em>perfect timing,<em> she thought to herself. Belle should be asleep by now.

Jace was sitting on the edge of his bed, head in his hands, when Isabelle came in.

"Hey," She said.

Without even looking up, Jace said,"When did you start barging in my room?"

"Jace-"

"Izzy, I know what you're gonna all that crap about talking to Clary," he said.

"I'm just saying that you should talk to her, give her a chance." Isabelle said trying not to press too much on the topic.

"But do I have to remind you again, that she left us with no explanation whatsoever?"He whined, but he couldn't help it. It was the truth. The one thing that he held onto for all these years. He lifted his head. Isabelle could see his pained expression and almost walked out the room and end the conversation right there. But he needed to hear this, and she made a promise.

* * *

><p><strong>*Flashback*<strong>

**After the party**

Isabelle caught up to Clary, as she ran out of the party.

"Clary, where are you going?"

"Anywhere, just away from _her_, I can't just stand around and watch them together." Clary shook her head.

"What happened back there?" Isabelle questioned.

"It's nothing," Clary said, resisting the urge to just run. Run from everything. Run from Jace. But she couldn't do that to Belle.

"Clary, I know it's not nothing, can we please talk? She said in a softer tone,"At the institute." Clary winced at the thought that _he _might be there.

"Don't worry, he needs to clean up at the party," Isabelle said, trying to sound reassuring. Clary reluctantly nodded, as Isabelle looked at her with giant, pleading eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>Later...<strong>

_in isabelle's room_

"What did you want to talk about?" Clary asked, trying to remain nonchalant, but really, her heart was racing at the possibility of Jace in the next room.

"Why did u leave?" she said with a stern expression.

"Cutting to the chase, aren't we?" Clary said, managing a slight laugh and an indifferent expression.

"Please Clary"

"I left because I wanted to." Clary replied untruthfully.

"That's not true, I know it. If it was, you wouldn't have come back." Isabelle retorted."Don't try to back out of this, or I'm not helping you get Jace back."

"I never told you to help me," Clary whisper-yelled, being defensive. Isabelle gave her a look.

"Why the hell are you whispering?"

"Because, J-he might be there." She replied.

"You still care about him."

"Fine..."

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><p><strong>*Flashback in a Flashback*<strong>

_Clary walked through the busy New York streets, pushing through throngs of people. She had just visited Simon, both of them playing COD, which Clary had proudly won. Her phone buzzed in her back pocket. The screen flashed and three words appeared._

_One new message_

_Jace: Belle woke up, what do i do?_

_She smiled to herself. Simon, Magnus and herself had finally educated Jace,Isabelle, and Alec on technology. Although Jace had immediately liked cellphones, he didn't understand why mundanes texted instead of just calling. He texted on several occasions though. _

_She texted back_

_Clary: Hang on, I'm on my way back to the institute _

_When she tucked her phone securely back into her pocket, she looked around baffled that the bright sky was replaced by dark, gloomy clouds. Without another thought, she continued down the street to the institute. _

_The street held a certain sadness and depression. The unusually empty street seemed to pour from her feet, never-ending, flowing through the fog ahead. The lively street, normally filled with street vendors and festive people had dissappeared. Suddenly, a loud muffled sound caught her attention. She gripped her stele, on her belt, hidden from view and cautiously peeked toward the alleyway._

_"Anyone here?" She called, the echoes bouncing off the walls. _

_"Stay away," A raspy voice said, startling Clary, and causing her to take a step back. She could not tell the gender of the voice, much less who it was._

***End of Flashback in a Flashback***

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><p>"...so I went back there everyday, and it would tell me the same thing." Clary continued.<p>

"_Why_ would you go back there?" Isabelle asked as if it was the craziest thing in the world.

"I don't know, I guess I had a weird feeling that I had to go back there..."Clary answered, trailing off. "On the 8th day, I went there, but instead of the voice telling me to stay away, I saw a note." Clary shuddered. "It was written in a red ink-like substance, blood."

_The note_** :**

_**LEAVE. OR THE CHILD DIES. YOU HAVE 48 HOURS.**_

_**BURN AFTER READING.**_

"I remember reading the words over and over again, trying to figure out if there was some hidden meaning behind those words." Clary was in the middle of a deep thought when Isabelle broke the silence.

"So you just did what _it_ wanted, packed your bags and left? Why didn't you tell us?" Isabelle was nearly shouted.

"It threatened Belle!" Clary lamely replied. The truth was that she didn't want them to get hurt or cause them any trouble, but Isabelle would never let her live it down. So she clung on to the fact that she was threatened instead.

Isabelle just shook her head and ignored her reply. She put her hand on Clary's shoulder as a comforting gesture. "Don't worry, I'm on your side. I'll help you get Jace back. _I promise_."

"How?" Clary questioned.

"I don't know, I guess I'll just-" Isabelle was cut off by a knock on the door.


	11. Chapter 10 Not too late

**I'd love you if I could **

**chapter 10 - Not too late**

**A/N:This chapter wasn't originally planned, but I decided to do a Thanksgiving chapter since it's coming up. Is anyone else gonna see the midnight premier of Breaking Dawn ?(not a huge fan anymore but...) So what I noticed is that for 2 chapters, I changed my summary. But for the last chapter I changed it back to the original and got a lot more reviews. Maybe it's because people don't recognize the story or maybe the other summary wasn't really good... Sorry for the long wait... ANSWER QUESTIONS BELOW PLZ hope you like this chapter!**

**Sorry for any mistakes, this story is unBeta'd.**

**Disclamer: Roses are red,**

**Violets are blue,**

**I don't own the Mortal Instruments**

**And niether do you (unless you are cassandra Clare)**

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><p><em>If you ask me how I'm doin, I would say I'm doin just fine, I would lie and say that you're not on my mind. But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two and finally, I'm forced to face the truth. <em>

_No matter what they say,_

_I'm not over you._

_-Gavin Degraw (not over you)_

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><p><strong>Third person POV<strong>

Jace strolled down the institute hallway, breathing in the velvety scent. He had just taken Belle to her friend's house after cleaning up the party. His stomach grumbled, a cry of hunger. He knocked, 1...2...3 times. No reply. He could of sworn he heard distant voices chattering about in the room. But he shrugged it away, thinking his hunger was affecting his hearing. Just in case, he decided to check anyway. When he opened the door, he could see someone's back, Isabelle.

"I was just gonna order takeout, you wa-"His words siezed immediately after opening the door wider. He could feel his heart racing. His palm turn sweaty. And a sudden need to run. All points of weaknesses in Jace Herondale-er-Lightwood just because of the petite red headed girl sitting on Isabelle's bed.

The sight of the red headed girl in the setting of Isabelle's bedroom, was so familiar, he felt the urge to embrace her. But he also felt the need to escape. He stood frozen, by Izzy's door, in a trance.

"Yeah?"Isabelle asked, finally snapping Jace out of his surprised state.

"Do you-uh-want takeout from Taki's?" He asked, trying to avoid meeting Clary's eyes.

"Sure!" Isabelle said, trying to lighten the incredibly thick tension in the room.

"What's she doing here?" He asked in a clipped tone.

"Oh I'm just asking her to um Thanksgiving dinner with us."

Jace was , yet again, speechless as horrible scenerios ran through his head. And without another word, slipped out of the room.

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><p><strong>Clary's POV<strong>

Isabelle was interrupted by knocking. My eyes widened. _It's Jace _Isabelle mouthed to me. I looked over at her in a half angry half panicked expression. She leaned over and whispered, "If we stay quiet, he might go away"

When the door creaked open, that's when I really started to freak out. I tried to keep a composed expression. But when I saw his hair, the color of sunshine, and his smoldering golden eyes, everything just melted away (a cliche line, i know).

"I was just gonna order takeout, do you wa-" He stopped saying whatever he was going to say and looked in my direction. I held his gaze, and it felt like forever before Izzy cut in.

"Yeah?" She asked.

"Do you-uh-want takeout from Taki's?" He asked, his eyes staring hard at the the desk next to Izzy. I knew he was trying to avoid my gaze. I wanted to look away, but at the same time, I wanted to savor all the moments, I got to hear his voice, or see him.

"Sure!" Her cheery voice sounded strangely out of place in the quiet tension of the room.

"What's she doing here?" He asked, and I finally found the will to let my gaze wander somewhere else in the room.

"Oh I was just um asking her to Thanksgiving dinner with us." Wow, nice save Izzy, I thought sarcastically. Jace's had a shocked expression and just when I thought he was gonna argue, he left the room. I turned and glared at Izzy.

"Really?" I squeaked.

"I got you another chance to fix things." Izzy argued.

"But-"

"You asked me to help you, and I am. You can't get out of this now. If you don't take this chance, how are you guys gonna,"Isabelle made stretched out her arm"run off into the sunset together." She sighed dramatically. I had no choice but to suck it up and go to the dinner.

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><p><strong>Thanksgiving Night<strong>

Clary gave herself a once-over in the mirror, feeling incredibly nervous and self-consious. She was wearing a flowy black top and jeans ( much to Isabelle's annoyance to her casual wear). She patted her shirt down, put on her shoes, grabbed her purse, and headed out into the night.

By the time Clary pulled up onto the driveway of the restaurant she was told to meet at, she was practically jumping from anxiety. She stared at the door taking a deep breath and stepping out of the car. The moment she turned her head towards the door of the restaurant, she saw Jace walk in with Belle and Aline. Of course, he'd bring Aline. The thought had barely crossed her mind, but now it seemed ridiculous that she had never considered it. Closing the door, she thought, _this was going to be a long night._

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><p><strong>Jace's POV<strong>

I grabbed a simple T-shirt off the neat rack of clothes in my closet and threw it on. I felt arms snake around my waist. With the red glittering nails and strong perfume (odor to me) , I knew it was Aline. I sighed. _Clary would never wear that much perfume. _I mentally slapped myself for comparing Aline to Clary. _Again._

"Are you ready to go?" She whispered seductively, sounding like we were about to run off to do the dirty or something.

I cleared my throat,"Yeah, I'm just gonna go get Belle." As soon as I said that, her expression sorrowed. It seemed that she did not like Belle, and that pissed me off like no other. But she was a distraction, and pretty good in bed. Of course not as good as... And there I go again.

Realizing that I just stood by the doorway for 30 seconds, I walked briskly out the door and into the hallway. My face broke into a big smile when I entered Belle's room.

"Hey Belle, ready to go?" I knelt down. I had gotten her dressed an hour ago in her favorite little dress. She said nothing, but gave me a dimpled grin and raised her hands up gesturing to be carried. As we walked out of the room, my mind finally registered that I was going to have to face Clary. I didn't know what my opinion of her was now. I didn't dispise her with such a passion as before. It was weird. It seemed like I was excited to see her? I shook my head as if to shake away those thoughts and headed towards the car with my child, my "girlfriend", and my ex-(not legally) wife.

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><p><strong>Clary's POV<strong>

I was greeted into the restaurant by medium sized tropical looking plants and a waterfall-like fountain in the corner of the room. I walked over to the receptionist (the kind that's in front when you go to a restaurant. I don't know what they're called.)

"Um I'm here with the Lightwoods?" She looked down at the computer and politely nodded.

"Yes, they are over there." She led me near the table. Once I was a only a few feet away from the table, I noticed that I was sitting right across from Jace and next to Isabelle. Maryse and Robert were sitting at the ends of the table, Belle was in a high chair on Jace's right, and of course Aline was on his left. I cleared my throat (not in the snobby way of course) and slid into the empty seat.

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><p>The conversations of the entire night was completely awkward. Small talk was exchanged of course, but at times we would be silent for a few minutes. Luckily, someone would always start up the conversation by talking about something random and everyone would desperately grab onto the opportunity. Although, Aline wasn't making much effort, and when she did join in, she talked about herself.<p>

"So Clary, how is your life? Do you have a job?" Maryse asked me in a motherly tone.

"I work at a cafe on (insert street of new york) ."

"Do you have any plans in the future?"

"Well actually I w-" I was cut off by Aline's voice.

"Jacey, I think I left my bracelet in the car. Will you go get it with me?" She said in a whiny voice, winking at him, obviously planning to have a makeout session while they're at it. My nostrils flared, as jealousy raced through my veins. I fought the urge to stand up and start yelling at her. Instead, I gripped the edge of the tablecloth. Isabelle looked at me with a worried expression.

* * *

><p><strong>Jace's POV<strong>

"Jacey, I left my bracelet in the car. Will you go get it with me?" Aline asked while stroking up and down my arm. She winked at me and I could tell what she implied, and apparently Clary did too. I peeked over to see her reaction. I could see that her eyes displayed the strong emotion of rage and jealousy.

I cleared my throat," No thanks baby, why don't you get it yourself." I swept her hand off my arm as she huffed. She atttempted to give me a cute frown but I turned my head and ignored it. She was really getting on my nerves these days.

"Would you excuse me?" Clary asked and she headed off towards the direction of the restrooms. I walked after her ignoring Isabelle's stare.

* * *

><p><strong>Clary's POV<strong>

"Would you excuse me?" I asked as I scooted away from my seat. As I left, I wiped hot (almost) tears on my sleeve and headed for the restroom.

"Hey Clary wait up," I heard a familiar voice. I turned around to look at him but all I could do was stare at his chest. It wasn't because of my height though, it was because I couldn't bring myself to look at his face, his eyes.

"So uh Belle has this playgroup that meets next Monday at that park near the Institute? You wanna come?" He asked.

"Sure, I'd love too,"

"Right, ok 9:30" Was all he said before retreating back to the table.

I smiled to myself. Maybe it was _not too late._

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><p><strong>Jace's POV<strong>

Why the hell did I just do that?

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><p><strong>AN 2: Oh no Jace is questioning himself! Review :) **

**Questions:**

**1: Rate my story? (1 being horrible 10 being awesome, I might do this every few chapters to see if I need to put some more drama or anything)**

**2: might be a dumb question. On the word cliche, usually there is a squiggly on top of the e, how do you do that on a keyboard?**

**3:Any suggestions for the story?**

**4: I'm just curious, what is the age range of people reading my story. Don't answer if you don't want to. **

**A.12 or younger. B. 13-15 C.16-18 D. 18 and up**

**THANKS ! :)**


	12. Chapter 11 Here to stay?

**I'd Love you if I could**

**chapter 11 - Back to stay?**

**A/N at the bottom**

**Disclamer: This wouldn't be "fan" fiction if I owned TMI**

**Sorry, this chapter is a bit shorter but it took a LOT of thinking and rewriting.**

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><p><em>Waiting for answers is like waiting for a thunderstorm. You can see it coming. You can predict it, but you never truly know how hard the rain will come down and wether you'll dance in it or cry. But either way, you'll end up with a rainbow.<em>

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><p>Monday came rolling around the corner so quickly,they didn't even notice after the joyous Sunday. It's rays of sunlight broke through the windows, awaking everyone in the Institute. They stretched an yawned and got ready for the day ahead of them.<p>

* * *

><p>The morning went surprisingly smooth for Jace. Belle didn't complain when she had to get out of bed, nor did she when he gave her her breakfast. Jace strapped Belle to her carseat and got into the car himself at exactly 9:15. The park was just a block and a half from the Institute, so they did not have to go early. Just rounding the corner, the thought of picking up Clary hit Jace right in the head. He realized he had forgotten that he offered to bring her to Belle's playgroup (<strong>pretend that it's every Monday, and that it's a group of her classmates, where they get to have class which is Kindergarten in the park - parents get to watch.)<strong>

He had gotten Clary's address at dinner a few nights ago on a small slip of paper, which he carefully took out of his pocket as he drove onto her street. He looked down at it and up at the building before him. The address was correct. It was a dusty apartment building, but had a sort of beauty to it, he couldn't quite place. It didn't seem too old, and actually had quite a view. Clary, who had been waiting on the steps, opened the unlocked car door, startling Jace. They said their hello's as Jace drove off.

* * *

><p>The silence in the car was almost unbearable. Jace kept his eyes on the road ahead. He was frightened to look at Clary just in case his heart overruled any kind of sense his mind still had. No matter how he prevented himself from looking at her, Clary was still thick in his mind. Jace jumped a little hearing her sigh, finally he forced himself to look at Clary whose eyes were fixed on the window. Jace wondered wether she was too preoccupied with the scenery, or was too nervous to acknowledge him. Knowing Clary, Jace figured it was the latter.<p>

He allowed his eyes to flicker ahead again before they argued with him once more and darted eagerly back towards her. His eyes were caught on a half covered rune under her sleeve. A curved shape, circled around her wrist, in intricate designs. He knew what the rune was, because he had one too. It was one that she had created herself. It was a binding rune, not as powerful as the rune one would get when they were getting married, but a binding rune none-the-less. Sort of like a promise ring. Not great a commitment as a wedding ring, but still incredibly significant. It was still there though, a firm sign of her commitment. She could have created another rune to erase it, but she didn't.

They pulled up on the curve of the sidewalk. Jace undid his seatbelt and walked around to the other side of the car. At the same moment. Clary opened her door.

"No, I got it." She said assuringly as she reached back and got Belle out of her carseat. Clary carried her firmly out the car and set her on the sidewalk. Upon seeing one of her friends, Belle cried out in joy and made a bee-line for the playground where they were lining up, leaving Jace and Clary to walk by themselves.

"Thanks for inviting me," Clary said softly as they made their way to a bench under the shade of a tree that gave them a perfect view of Belle. Clary looked around the park, reminding her of the times, when she and Jace would take midnight strolls around the lake a field away from the playground. Many other mothers, and occasional fathers were sitting on other park benches scattered around the edge of the playground and field of grass. Some mothers, which Clary assumed were single, looked over to their bench, curiously and a few in jealousy. She guessed they weren't used to seeing Jace bringing someone to these except his siblings. You would think she was used to it by now. She knew Jace turned the heads of females everywhere. A few years ago, she remembered seeing teenage girls pining for his attention. Now, apparently, he even caught the attention of single mothers. She was slightly revolted by the thought.

Clary turned her attention back to Jace seeing as he raised an eyebrow towards her curiously. She now realized that she had been staring off into the air for 5 minutes. He had playful grin on his face.

"What?" She exclaimed in mock surprise.

"Nothing," He sounded smug. After their endless playful banter, they began to talk and be more comfortable instead of awkwardness everytime they were around each other. Polite conversations about the weather turned into being playful and slightly flirtatious. From time to time, one of them would even crack jokes that made both of them burst out laughing. Three hours later, when Belle made their way to them, their uncomfortable morning of no conversation was long gone.

As they got into the car, Jace asked,"Do you want to go to the institute?"

Clary smiled and nodded happily.

The door shut behind them loudly as they entered the institute. Clary breathed in the smell and the familiar eerieness of the institute when no one else was home. With the tall ceilings and dark hallways, she wasn't surprised how afraid of it she was at first. But after time, it became a home.

As Jace set Belle down, she quickly into one of the living room like rooms, plopped down on the sofa, and flipped on the TV. Jace could hear a childish jingle and Belle's giggling, knowing that she was watching her favorite show again. A few years back, Magnus had filled them in on technology and everyone including Maryse and Robert, started using it due to its convenience. Alec had been reluctant insisting that technology was not for shadowhunters always being the worrywart, but Magnus was able to convince him otherwise.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Jace asked as he watched Clary eye the room.

"Just water please." He got out a cup, filled it with water, dropped a few ice cubes into it, then gave it to Clary.

"Everything looks the same." She observed.

"Yeah," He answered shortly. After a moment, he added "I'm going to use the restroom, do you mind..."

"Yeah it's ok," Clary smiled, knowing she'd get some exploring time to herself. Jace disappeared down the hallway and left Clary alone in the kitchen. A few moments after, she wandered down the same hallway.

She stopped in front of a big picture of Belle, and felt her eyes soften. She leaned up and touched the photo allowing her fingers to caress the face of her child inside the photo. The perfect mix of similarities between Belle and her parents were astonishing. The resemblence was uncanny, only adding to her boundless guilt.

A moment later, Jace walked back out the hallway noticing Clary staring at the picture of Belle. He led Clary down the hallway once again, but to a large guest bedroom with chairs and a couch.

"Sit,"He gestured to the couch. He took a seat adjacent to hers. Clary, surprising herself, patted the seat on the couch next to her for him to sit. He obeyed and the two of them sat, unsure of how to start.

After an hour of just chatting, talking about nothing in particular, the subject of Clary leaving was brought up again. Clary decided in her mind that she would make up an excuse. Post natal depression, was what came to mind probably due to too many TV show dramas. And she went with it. She didn't want to lie but, she needed something that wouldn't still worry him. With that, she could heal from, but with the actual reason, it could spring back out at any moment. She had hoped that by leaving, whoever threatened her would vanish. Clary also knew that by coming back, it was taking a huge risk. But she knew she had to take it.

Jace surprised her by giving her a hug and whispering in her ear "I'm glad you're back" after she gave him her excuse claiming that she was better now.

And when he pulled back, he asked, "Ar-Are you staying?" He feared that her answer would be no, that all his happiness was for nothing. He himself didn't expect to forgive her so easily, but when she told him the condition she was in, he tried to put himself in her shoes. If there was any chance of hurting Belle, he would've left too. So, surprising himself, he had given her a hug.

At that question, she gave him a huge smile and replied, "Yes" She was sure of it. She was sure she was going to stay. Unless...unless she HAD to leave.

Caught in the moment, she leaned in and pressed her lips to his. She desperately needed to revisit the feeling of kissing him. His eyes flew open, wide, staring straight at her. She pulled away, bright red, and wanting to dissappear. It felt like they were teenagers with their first kiss all over again.

Jace leaned back in, pressed his lips to hers, and kissed her back.

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><p><strong>AN:**

**They're back together! Sorry if you think this happened too quickly but this story might be moving along too slowly so I needed to get them together for something else to happen. Next 1-3 chapters will probably be mostly fluffy. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and gave me helpful advice and encouragement **

**clacestoey201114,**

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**WordsAsStrongAsSwords**

**Lotuslita**

**4evrJace11**

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**Neecole66**

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**BookwormXDimitriBelikov**

**Thanks soooo much...and as promised faster update and less (none this chapter) switching of POV's. **

**Remember to Review (if you want to which i really hope you do) :D**


	13. Chapter 12 Sorrows beneath my bed

**I'd love you if I could**

**chapter 12 - Sorrows beneath my bed**

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><p>"Cause there'll be no sunlight if I lose you baby,<p>

There'll be no clear skies if I lose you baby,

Just like the clouds my eyes will do the same,

If you walk away, everyday it'll rain"

- Bruno mars (It will rain)

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><p>Jace had asked me if I wanted to look after Belle tomorrow, which I of course accepted. It was something I had been really looking forward to. I wanted to get to know Belle. And here was my chance, presented right in front of me.<p>

Niether of us had spoken a single word about the kiss, but I know it was still lodged in both of our heads. The atmosphere was still easy and friendly but there was a slight awkwardness that had not been there before. Never the less, I did not regret it. It had been like I was underwater and had finally got taken to the surface. Coming up with me were bubbles of memories and feelings that soon turned into a whirlpool that sucked me in making my head spin. It was a burst of emotion that stirred inside me, but it did not occur to me that I would make such a bold move.

I arrived at the institute at about the same time Jace had come home from picking up Belle from school. They came into the institute just seconds after I had entered the large, brown doors.

"Hi," I said as the door slammed shut behind them.

Jace cleared his throat,"Hey." His expression looked startled, as if he didn't expect me here. He bended over to put Belle down and Belle stayed put, standing beside him. Belle and I have not officially been introduced. As of yesterday, she probably thought of me as a family friend, and forgotten all about the fiasco at her birthday party. Should I stay as "family friend" or should we tell Belle? I looked to Jace hoping that he would understand what I was trying to say. He looked as if he were thinking the same thing.

Finally, he said," Belle, this is your um mom," I was

"Mommy?" She repeated. She had a look of total confusion on her face. Of course. How would you expect a five year old to understand that someone they have only met 2 or 3 times would be their mother. Uh oh... not a good sign, I thought.

A second later, a bright smile formed on her face.

"Mommy!" She runs toward me as fast as her little legs can carry her and hugs me. I hug her back, giving her a little kiss on the head. Meanwhile, Jace walks over to us and bends down as well.

"Mommy's gonna spend the day with you ok?" Belle nods excitedly.

"Me and Izzy are gonna be back in a couple hours, around 7 or 8." He tells me after standing up. I'm guessing he hasn't told Belle about shadowhunting yet.

"Ok," I say to him.

"Bye Belle. Be good." He gives her a kiss on the head, smiled at me, and walked out of the room. I stared after him. Was I expecting him to kiss me? Compared to a few days ago, that smile was already a huge step ahead.

After Izzy and Jace had left, the institute felt quiet and lonely. Just Belle and I left, and of course Alec and Magnus. I'm guessing they'll be spending their day in his room . Better make sure to steer clear of his room with Belle.

I felt a small tug on my pants, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Belle, do you wanna go get presents for christmas?" I asked her. Her only response was raising her hands up.

We drove through the busy New York streets to the nearest mall to the institute. I better get Izzy's present online. I'm sure she'll find out where I got it in a day if I bought it at this mall.

"Belle, do you like this one?" She shook her head. I sighed. I didn't even know what my own daughter liked.

Belle pointed to the one on the far right. It was a small plaid jacket with fur on the edges. It would look adorable on Belle.

"Alright then, come on Belle," I smiled and took her hand, walking to the cashier. While I was paying, I looked down at my watch, 12:30. It was lunch time.

"Belle, what do you want to-" I looked down. I looked to the left. Then the right. That's I started panicking. I could feel sweat starting to form on my forehead and my heart went racing. This was the exact situation I always see on TV. When the parent loses their kid. This is usually the part when I yell at the TV where the child went. Now that I was in the situation, I truly understand the impact of emotions.

"Belle! " I frantically call out her name. Suddenly I felt a tug on my pants, similar to 2 hours ago, and look down.

"Oh god Belle, thank goodness you're ok" I hug her tightly to me. Now there's a happy ending you never see in movies.

"Come on Belle, let's get home." I take the bag with her jacket in it and forget all about getting the others' presents.

"Why don't you go play," I saw as we get into the institute. I wander around, trying to find Belle's room or a place to put her new jacket.

I stumble into a room. Jace's room. All white again. He had taken down all our photos and my drawing. Hmmm, maybe I can put it in a drawer or something. As I stepped over to the other side of the bed, I saw something sticking out from under the bed. Of course it contrasted drastically against the pale white of everything else. I sat down on the fuzzy white rug and pulled it out. It was a box, in the color of grass green.

I opened it and gasped. It was a bunch of assorted photos. Framed, unframed, black and white, colored, drawings, you name it. One similar thing that all of them held countless memories. I shuffled through the pictures. One was taken in Alicante. Another was taken in New York at Taki's. I flipped through some more. Many pictures were snapped in many occasions including our first "official date", our wedding, an abundant amount of travel photos, and the day Belle was born. I brought the last picture up close to my face and examined it. We looked so happy. I was the only one smiling at the camera. Jace was looking lovingly at me and Belle was in my arms.

In the midst of admiration, a sharp note of music started playing. Surprised, I dropped the pictures in hand. I fumbled to organize the pictures in my hand and put my phone to my ear.

"Hello?" I said as I pressed the answer button.

"Clary?" I recongnized that voice. Lexi! In the midst of all this drama, I completely forgot about her.

Before I could answer her, I felt a breeze behind my back. A dark shadow loomed over me.

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><p><strong>AN: OMG this chapter completely sucked. It was really forced because I had no inspiration but I didn't want to keep you guys waiting too long. I've had this idea in my head for another story ( the hunger games) all week and couldn't really focus on writing this. But I will definitely try to finish this story. **

**I want to give credit to Neeecole66 for the Clary and Belle bonding. Even though I didn't fulfill in this chapter what I wanted to happen during the "bonding" I think the idea was great.**

**Btw, if anyone likes The Hunger Games series, Please check out my story Definitely Real, and my friend PERCYJACKSONFANATIC's story Undoing. Thanks. :)**

**Review on if you want the REAL drama to start or just have like small little dramatic situations. **

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**v**


	14. Author's note

**A/N: Sorry to those of you who thought this was a chapter. As I was saying in the last chapter, I've kinda lost inspiration in The Mortal Instruments. But, I'll definitely try to finish this story. I'm taking sort of a short break from it. **

**I know, I hate it when authors do this too. But a promise to you: I'll write a least a paragraph a day (faster update). So don't forget about this story!**

**One question: **

**Do you guys want Jace to be completely in love with Clary again? Or do you want him to be kind of doubtful? Tell me in a REVIEW!**

**In a nutshell, this is just to say that I won't be updating for AT LEAST a week. **

**Thanks to everyone who reads this story and I'll try to update soon! :)**


	15. Chapter 13 Not again

**I'd love you if I could**

**chapter 13 - Not Again**

**PLEASE READ - that was an attention grabber device btw...:)**

_Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions._

**I just thought that was an adorable quote :)**

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><p><strong>Disclamer: Obviously don't own since this is "fan" fiction.<strong>

**WARNING : ONE EXPLICIT WORD IN THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH**

**LAST CHAPTER : **

I felt a breeze behind my back. A dark shadow loomed over me.

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><p><strong>Clary's POV<strong>

I turned around to find the person I did not expect to see. Aline. What the hell was she doing here?

Pretty soon we were soon we were yelling - well I was whisper yelling due to the fact that Belle was in the next room. I spare you the details that I want to flush out of my mind. Basically, I told Aline to - excuse the language- fuck off and leave us alone.

Which she did,surprisingly, and stomped out of the room. I gathered all the pictures back in the box and picked up my cell phone. I'll skip out the half hour of girly talk with Lexi for your sake as well. She wanted to meet Belle. We set a time and date for next week. Looks like I shouldn't mention the mall incident, when asking Jace.

I rushed out the room when I heard the door slam shut. The door always seemed like a way to announce that someone's entering the institute.

I was met by two exhausted looking figures. Jace had dried brownish red blood crusted on his shirt. Isabelle on the other hand, was spotless. Her outfit looked as if she didn't exit the institute at all. Exhaustion was evident on both their faces. Even Isabelle's. One sound that their ears picked up, and they dashed into the hall. I stared down the hall at them, very confused. A second later, Belle appeared at my side. How had they heard that? I guess years of shadowhunting heightened your hearing too.

Jace appeared out of nowhere wearing a new clothes and got the awful demon stench off of himself.

Belle ran towards him adorably, "Daddy!"

"Hey Belle," He picked her up into his arms, "What did you do today?"

"Mommy took me shopping!" I did a mental happy dance when she called me mommy. Jace cocked his head towards me and raised an eyebrow. I was never one for shopping. I shrugged.

"Were you being a good little girl?" Oh please don't mention getting lost, I mentally begged Belle.

"Yeah!" I sighed in relief. I guessed now would be a good time to bring up the plans for next week.

"Jace?" He looked up at me as if to say, _I'm listening_. "Could I take Belle out for a few hours next week? My friend wanted to meet her. And I could even pick her up from scho-" I was cut off.

"Sure," Jace replied. I looked at him incredulously. Did he really say yes so quickly? I shrugged away the thought. An eerie silence took over once again after Jace had put down Belle to play. And although Jace was with me, I felt as if I was alone again.

"Jace, can we talk?" I walked over to the couch, and Jace followed, planting himself in the seat next to me. I could see the curious glint in his eyes as he glanced expectantly at me, waiting for me to continue. I gulped. Did I even want to have this conversation? No. But did I have to? Yes.

"What's wrong?" Jace asked. He had always been able to read me like a book. Although, I probably should've attempted to hide the anxious look I had had on my face. I didn't know how to start, and decided to avoid the inconvienient twists and turns this conversation could take. So I just came right out and said it.

"Are we back together?" I hestitated,"as a couple?" I realized my voiced had risen to a higher octave due to nervousness and maybe slight dehydration making me feel lightheaded.

"Do you want to be?" He looked me dead in the eye. Maybe he couldn't risk the rejection. Or maybe he just wanted to see how desperate I could be. I hoped it was the first.

I mentally slapped myself. Jace wouldln't be that cruel.

"Y-yes of course," I said, my voice wavering a bit. I hoped I didn't seem too needy. This was like one of those boyfriend girlfriend talks about commitment.

And the next momentn he was kissing me. HE was kissing me. Not the other way around this time. I was ectastic. I really hoped this meant I was forgiven. I knew we wouldn't ever be like before. Before I left. But I was going to take what I was going to get.

"Hey Jace?"

"Hmm?"

"Why was Aline in your room?" Jace did a double take.

"What?" He sounded incredulous.

"Yeah, I saw her in there when - " I couldn't exactly tell him I was snooping through his pictures, " when I fetched Belle her um toys that had rolled in there." I hoped that was believable enough. Jace kept his room door slightly ajar. Not completely open nor closed. Some of her toys could have easily slipped in there.

"I'll talk to her. Make sure she stays away from my room" He said with a hint of a smile. I knew he didn't just mean the going into his room without his permission situation which pleased every single pore in my body.

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><p><strong>A week later<strong>

It takes skill to maneuver a five year old through the busy streets of New York. A lesson I had learnt the hard way. As children usually were, Belle was curious about everything. She asked why that man was sleeping in front of that building, what that other man was doing with the stick filled with smoke, and what those people in the corner were drinking. I was not ready to expose Belle to the harsh realities of life.

We had decided on going to this playground/cafe type place. Since this was New York, I expected this place to be packed with people, so I gave Belle a little pep talk about not running off before entering the building.

I spotted Lexi right away and walked up to the table she had saved for us. Upon noticing my arrival, Lexi broke into a huge smile.

"Hi!" She stood up giving me a tight hug. She was overly cheerful, reminding me of another person I knew.

"Hi, what's your name?" She asked in a voice I knew everyone reserved for talking to little kids.

"Belle! " Belle giggled.

"You are adorable," Lexi stated.

I glanced into the playground area. Hmm, it was actually a reasonable amount of people in there.

"Belle, why don't you go play while mommy and Lexi talk." Belle looked overjoyed at the chance to play in the big playstructure.

I strained my neck to see if Belle got in okay. As soon as I made sure she was fine, I turned my head back towards Lexi, watching Belle in the corner of my eye. I didn't want to repeat the mall incident again.

"So, how are you and Jace doing?" She raised both her eyebrows up and down as if implying something else.

"We're great. We're back together, and finally becoming like a family again."

"If you don't mind me asking, why did you leave them?" I wondered if I should tell Lexi about all the shadowhunting and stuff. It wasn't that I didn't trust Lexi, it was just that I really didn't feel comfortable springing all that on her and freaking her out.

"I don't want to talk about it,"

"Sorry, it's ok, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." One of the things I liked about Lexi was that she didn't pry.

The rest of the time we were there, Lexi and I talked and joked around. Giggles and laughter filling the air. It felt like the happy times, fooling around while we were working at the cafe.

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><p>After dropping Belle off to an anxious looking Jace, and joking about how he should have more faith in me, I headed back to my apartment. Turning the corner, I noticed the still empty alley that had ruined my life by chasing me away from my husband and daughter. It couldn't do anything to keep me away from them now.<p>

At the moment the smug thought entered my mind, a breeze blew something thin and crackly into my hands. It was a note. I unfolded it. There was all too familiar red smears across the paper. There were words. They resembled : You didn't stay away. I immediately dropped the paper to the ground in shock. As long as I stayed away from that alley, it couldn't do anything, right? Everyone would be safe. I hope.

You can imagine my shock as I opened the door exposing me to the object behind it. There on the little stool next to my door, was the same exact note that I had dropped on the ground.

_Not again, _I thought.

**A/N: Obviously, it's not a week. It's been 3 days. But OMG I'm freaking out right now! 16-17 REVIEWS? You guys are amazing! That's the most reviews I've ever gotten on one chapter. It was more reviews than I usually get for actual chapters! I don't know if I should be slightly offended or not... just kidding. You guys just totally made my day so as a thank you, here's an earlier chapter.**

**SO remember : More reviews = happier author = faster updates.**

**AND to those of you who think this story is coming to an end, it isn't. The main plot is just starting. **

**This chapter is slightly shorter, and the beginning for the most part is a filler. Although the last bit is umm...rising action? **

**OH AND SORRY IF CLARY SEEMED A LITTLE AGGRESSIVE IN THE BEGINNING. I WAS READING MAXIMUM RIDE BEFORE WRITING THIS SO...**

**YEA thanks again! Remember to review and tell me what you think!**

**Sorry if my updates were slow! **


	16. Chapter 14 Fury

**I'd love you if I could**

**chapter 14 - Fury**

_"I close my eyes to feel the pitter-patter of the rain through the wind. It is my only reminder that clouds have a heartbeat. That I have one too. "_

**Shatter me - Taherah Mafi**

**BTW: It's an okay book. I give it a 7.5 (Yeah I'm specific like that :P ) I don't like the whole fast romance thing, even though I'm all for fluff and romance. I like her writing style though. **

**IMPORTANT! DON'T SKIP!**

**Ok maybe it's not so important but read it anyway. Clary is described in the actual book that she is sorta easy to anger. And I noticed I've been writing her as a way too soft person. So she's going to be a little less of my personality and a little bit of a braver,stronger personality. She won't be too strong/brave though, because then the story wouldn't work. Got it? **

**And thanks so much for getting me (insert girly scream) 15 reviews! (Yes I count :) =**

**Wisegirl3**

**Violetx18**

**Hermione cahill-carstairs**

**neeecole66 **

**To love is to destroy**

**Lol **

**smith041**

**vampchick09**

**georgielangtonxx**

**WordsaStrongasSwords**

**hawaiiangrl**

**Lovergirl10621**

**Integrity21**

**Angel5005**

**kairiluvzu830**

**Ok now on with the story! Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Recap: <strong>

_There on the little stool next to my door, was the same exact note that I had dropped on the ground._

_ Not again, I thought._

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><p><strong>Clary's P.O.V<strong>

Okay. Wow. Seriously freaky. Was this person stalking me now? And how did that note get there? In my house. I shuddered involuntarily. This was creepy. I was still processing this in my mind. I had thought nothing of it when I first saw the note, but seeing it in my house? After I dropped it on the ground? Now that was an eye opener.

I looked around in slight fear. I wasn't the shadowhunter Clary a few years ago. And back then I wasn't so great either. Now? I practically had the strength of an average mundane. If this supposedly magical being that could put disappearing notes in my house was out to get me, I would lose for sure. Especially since I didn't have a stele on hand.

There seemed to be no one else in the room at the moment. I took wary steps towards my room looking left and right frantically like something was going to jump out at me. No sign of anyone... or anything.

I sat down on my bed. I didn't want to stay in my apartment by myself. Maybe I should stay at Lexi's. No. If whoever wanted to get me to "stay away" , I don't want to endanger her. Neither of us could protect ourselves. Isabelle...? Isabelle! If whoever this was, was a demon, it couldn't get into the institute. And Isabelle was a trained shadowhunter. Jace and Alec might be there too. I grabbed my phone, some extra clothes, and other necessities **(everytime I see this word I think of the jungle book that they made us watch in elementary school) **before dashing out the door.

I gave no clue about why I was rushing back to the Institute at 10 PM, although Isabelle did try to ask. How many times? Oh maybe 8 or 9. Nothing like 10. That would be major prying. Too extreme.

She let me stay the night in her room. I didn't see Jace or Alec until early morning when I got up for work. I had bumped into him while rushing to the bathroom to get ready.

" Clary?" He asked in confusion as to why I was there, after steadying me.

"Hi," I gave a little wave with my fingers, hoping my morning breath wasn't THAT bad. I mentally crossed my fingers.

"What are you doing here?" He asked with the same confused look on his face.

"Why? Don't you want me here?" I feigned innocence hoping to buy some time to think of an excuse.

"You know that's not what I mean."

"No. What do you mean?" I kept up my facade. I really shouldn't be talking this much without brushing.

"I mean why are you here?" My face turned into a sorrow expression.

"What?"

"I mean - " I'm sure Jace was doing a mental facepalm right now. Ok maybe I was acting a little TOO lightheaded.

Just then, Alec walked into the room, "Clary? What are y-" Great. Not again.

"Hey! I invited Clary over. You don't mind do you?" Isabelle shot me a look. I gave her a greatful look back. She knew I wasn't telling her something.

"Gotta go to work! See you guys later!" I dashed back down the hall into the bathroom to get ready.

I was running late and by the time I arrived at Sugar and Spice the cafe/bakery I worked at, I was wheezing and panting. Hmm. Never knew I was this out of shape. But I did have to run all the way hear from the Institute, pushing past a million people to get here, so I'd say it was a pretty speedy arrival.

I tried to recollect myself and try not to look like I just ran across the city. Once my heart rate had gone down, and my breathing returned to normal, I stepped into the cafe/bakery and grabbed an apron ( our work uniform) from the rack on the right.

"I covered for you," I heard a voice say behind me. I turned around to meet the wide grin of Lexi.

"Thanks," I heard the bell on the door ring, signal that someone was entering , and got to work.

The bell rang for the millionth time, at about 12:25 I noticed as I looked down at my watch.

Without lifting my head away from the order forms I was looking at, I asked, " Welcome to Sugar and Spice, what would you like to order?"

"Clary?" My head snapped up at the sound of my name.

In front of me in all his glory was our favorite sparkly uniquely clothed warlock.

"Magnus?" I haven't seen him since... since forever ago.

Lexi turned to me in slight shock. I know, Magnus was quite a sight to see. I don't blame her, I wouldn't believe I myself, would know someone as...unique... as Magnus.

We began the introductions, you know, Magnus - Lexi, Lexi - Magnus, Alec -Lexi, Lexi - Alec, you know the drill.

"Hey Clary, when's your break?" Magnus asked.

"In...um 5 minutes, why?" I asked questioningly. Hey, Magnus is a pretty unpredictable person.

"Ok then, I'll have a frappucino **(Yes I know, it's a starbucks thing, but I love it so let's pretend this cafe sells it too) **and Alec here will have a Mocha." Of course Magnus made the drinks sound like some sort of exotic plant. I gave them their drinks and spent the remaining 3 minutes (our boss is picky like that) sipping mine.

Turns out they brought me to some secluded forest like corner in Central Park (**not sure if a secluded area exists there but let's say it did**) . Magnus told me to sit, and after protesting that I wasn't a dog, which started a whole off topic argument, I reluctnatly sat down as told.

The moment I hit the ground, Magnus waved some sort of gadget in front of my face. Annoyed, I swatted it away. And the next second, I saw weird looking stars and blacked out.

"Do you think she'll be pissed off?" A voice asked.

"Very, my dear Alec, very " Said another voice which I assumed was Magnus even when I was still kinda out of it.

Opening my eyes, I saw two heads crouched over me.

"What the hell?" I exclaimed throwing my hands up nearly smacking poor Alec in the face to enunciate how furious I was.

My phone rang just then, interrupting me from saying my prepared speech that may just get me in anger management. But you would be mad too. They don't say I have a bad temper for nothing.

"Hello?"

"Clary! You have to-"

"Hold on Isabelle, I'm trying to kill these two idiots that hypnotized me into tel-" I said assuming that she was yelling about some new shoes she got.

"No! no Clary, listen to me. Jace got hurt. Get back here now! Ok I - I gotta go get Magnus just-" And the call ended. Shadowhunters were usually used to getting hurt badly. Unless... unless really hurt badly. That's why Isabelle was so frantic in the call. I was still trying to wrap this around my head.

It just occured to me that Jace was badly hurt.

"Magnus! W-We gotta get back to the institute! Jace got hurt and...Come on," I frantically tugged on his sleeve, close to hysterics. What an extreme roller coaster of emotions.

Jace had to survive this. He had to. He survived Valentine, well after I revived him. But he survived. He has to live. He has to live for Belle. He has to live for me. And for us.

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><p><strong>AN:**

**Yeah it's been like 2 weeks since my last update. Not really fast... but hey... it's a little faster than my other updates. So thanks for sticking with me (not literally) throughout the story even with my suckish updating. **

**:)**

**Ok question time! (well it's only one) :**

** My friend and I were wondering... why did this story get so many more reviews than my other stories? Was the the plot? The writing? Tell me in the reviews!**

**Lol, if you're reading this,since you're not signed in I can't PM you. Um Thanks...and yea the username or penname you gave me didn't work. So I couldn't PM you there either. But thanks So much for the compliments (really great encouragement there). If you don't mind , y don't you PM me?**


	17. Chapter 15 Resist

**I'd love you if I could**

**chapter 15 - Resist**

**-not giving in no matter how much you want to, no matter what people tell you**

_"In the end, we just regret the chances we didn't take"_

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><p><strong>Third Person POV<strong>

The small frail looking woman sat in the hallway, holding herself, as if the result of letting go, would make her disappear into thin air. The black haired pair, siblings to be exact, looked on towards the hall as if plotting revenge, with eyes squinted and lips pressed into a tight line.

Awaiting further information, one started pacing up and down the corrider resulting in annoyed calls in their direction. A sparkly colorful warlock who looked slightly awkward wearing a sullen expression with the particularly bright clothing.

"He's alive," The warlock announced, as all three breathed out a sigh of relief. Figures, that the first thing the brightly dressed warlock would say was "he's alive". He noticed the red haired woman's anxiety filling the atmosphere.

"You can go see him now," The other two gestured to the woman, assuring her that she may go first.

Clary all but stumbled her way into the cream colored room. She walked over to the infirmiry bed to inspect the blonde's condition. She had been told that almost all of his ribs had been broken, his arm had been sliced open and drenched with a gooey demonic liquid, and one of his legs were so torn, it looked like chopped bits and pieces. If he had been a regular person, and if Magnus was a regular doctor, he never would have made it, much less be able to use his limbs.

Now, he seemed to have some sort of after glow from Magnus's magic. He seemed to only be taking a nap, especially with the covers covering his previously torn up body. But god knows Jace never took naps being a shadowhunter used to moving around and all. The scratches and bruises that had been on his face cleared up, and only the biggest gash left a small scar that Clary knew would probably disappear the next day.

Clary gave the door a glance to make sure it was closed, and sat down in the chair next to the bed.

"Jace, I don't know if you can hear me ," she let out a shaky breath and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. " but if you can, and you're somehow pretending to be unconcious just cause you feel like it, I want you to know, I'm sorry. "

"I'm sorry for the past, a- and for now. I'm sorry for having to hurt you a second time. I'm sorry for leaving Belle without a mother. I'm sorry for leaving you without a wife. And I'm sorry for not listening to the warnings. Not leaving when I could've to save you." Thats when tears started falling freely out of her eyes. She felt around finally grasping Jace's hand in hers.

"I've loved you forever Jace. Ever since we met. And even if you thought I didn't, I still did. Even when I left. And now... and now **I'd love you if I could.** I can't put you or Belle in danger by being here. I have to try to forget , so I wouldn't be tempted to come back. This is goodbye. I'm so sorry " She ran a hand through his hair and gave him a kiss before letting go of his hand and walking out the door. But not before putting on a perfect poker face. It wasn't a hard task. She felt numb already. She just needed to hold herself together.

"Are you ok?" Isabelle put a hand on Clary's shoulder as a comforting gesture.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She tucked a piece of her red hair behind her ear. Isabelle saw Clary start to walk out of the infirmiry hall.

"Clary!" Clary turned her head, "you can stay here if you like, you don't have to go-"

"I - It's fine, I need to go back to work anyways," Isabelle noticed something off about her. She brushed away the thought. It was probably just the initial shock or worry, since Clary had been living like a mundane for the past 5 years, she probably wasn't used to the blood and gore. It was probably nothing.

It was at sundown that Clary exited her apartment, a small beige duffle bag in hand. The large buildings created rectangular shadows of different sizes along the length of the streets. The colors of the sky seemed to have reflect on the pavement where the shadows could not reach. Only a small amount of people, a few high school couples Clary observed, that reminded her of herself before all this mess. _Small amount of people?_ Clary wondered. Of course it was near dinnertime, she concluded, assuring herself. She ran. And ran. Pushing herself forward and steering clear from any dark looking alleys.

And suddenly, she felt tired. She refused to slow down though. Panting as she looked on at the sunset. She felt a certain dizziness surge through her body.

Something hard, like a punch hit Clary's small body causing her to topple backwards. She landed on a small patch of grass, realizing that she was on some sort of hill, overlooking the strangely not busy city. Her vision had started to blur. A dark figure stood looming over her. She couldn't tell whom or even what it was. All she knew was that her duffle bag was a few feet away and her attacker's distance was even less. She spun around kicking the black figure at the ankle and swiping a punch in the stomach before grabbing the bag. Clary felt a hand on her shoulder and something knocking her backwards once again. A sharp pain vibrated throughout her head. She felt the urge to go under. She **resisted.** She had to stay concious. _You bitch._ The pale red haired woman with an even redder splotch on the side of her head, heard a voice say. _I warned you. Stay away. _That was the last thing she heard before she couldn't **resist** any longer.

Blackness surrounded her, engulfing her being, no matter how much she screamed for and wished for Jace to come pull her out of this dark nighmare. And she fell. She fell because no one returned her grasp. No one was there to pull her out.

**YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED! :**

**Will there be fluff any time soon?**

_There won't be fluff "soon" but there'll be some in the epilogue. That I can promise._

**Why was this chapter so cliche?**

_This'll be the only cliche chapter. The rest of the story has a unique plot. I've spent FOREVER reading fics and I haven't seen what I have planned done before._

**Why was this chapter so short?**

_Because your author was lazy. _

_No Jk... it just felt like a good place to stop. :P_

**Why should you keep reading? ( Internal question that nobody actually asks but always asks themselves)**

_Because there's an exciting plotline to come._

**Ask me any questions you want me to answer in your review and I'll answer them on the next chapter. **

**Oh and not to be like one of those review crazed ones... but is this not interesting anymore? Because I went from 15 reveiws to 6. Thanks to those who reviewed though! :)**


	18. Chapter 16 Like living hell

**I'd love you if I could**

**chapter 16 - Like living hell**

_"Look before you leap, because as you probably don't know, there may be no one to catch you if you fall."_

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><p>The two dark haired siblings entered the room to see their light haired adoptive sibling that was currently pale skinned, making him blend into his surroundings.<p>

Although the three usually strong superhuman shadowhunters were used to injuries occuring on one another, they couldn't help but feel worried whenever the other got hurt. But they have never seen the golden haired man (**as said in the trailer, Jace is 23 now, this is a future fic, so he's an adult, to clear up any confusion..thats what i mean by golden haired "man".) **so broken before. He had usually come back with scrapes and bruises and occasionally with more serious injuries. He had usually held his own when it came to demons. How had this time been any different?

"Where's Clary?" Jace's voice croaked uncharacteristically. He cleared his voice and asked again. Isabelle knew the hidden meaning behind that particular question though. _Why isn't she here to see me?_ Alec, like the typical oblivious male, did not notice.

"She came to see you and even stayed the whole night too, but you know, you were unconcious and no matter how high you think of yourself, that's pretty boring to stare at," Isabelle said trying to defend Clary and lighten up the mood.

"She went to work," she said, clarifying.

"Oh, okay," Jace said, with a hint of disappointment, but decided to drop the subject.

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><p>On the opposite side of the city, a red haired woman (clary) strapped onto a cold metal surface, awoke. Craning her neck, she could see that it was an incredibly dark room, with a few dim surgery lights lighting up the room.<p>

"W-where am I?" She mumbled to herself. As a dark figure stepped out from the shadows, she heard a faraway scream. Then realized that it was her that was screaming her head off.

Something was slapped hard on her mouth, her piercing screams came to a stop.

The figure came forward wearing the same mask as before.

"Shut up!" Clary winced at the harshness of the unknown voice.

"Now," her kidnapper purred, "let the real fun begin."

Clary screamed again hoping someone would hear her and save her from this crazy physcopath. But this time, she was cut off by a sharp object filled with a green liquid, plunging into her heart.

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><p>"Did you hear that?" Jace asked, wondering if he was going crazy because of his injuries.<p>

"Hear what?" Jace shook his head.

"Never mind," He was certain that it had messed up his head somehow.

* * *

><p>The door slammed shut. Isabelle walked briskly towards it to see who was entering the institute.<p>

"Clary? I thought you had work," Isabelle asked, moving towards her. Clary did not answer. Her face remained an emotionless slate as she shuffled pass Isabelle.

"Hey, what's wrong?" She caught up to her and put a hand on Clary's arm. Clary swung it off with a force that Isabelle did not recognize. Isabelle narrowed her eyes suspiciously as she watched Clary's figure swaying down the hall. Isabelle let her strange behavior pass as worry. Afterall, what could possibly happen?

* * *

><p>Clary made her way to the infirmiry, a map of the institute planted into her mind. Her new hyper active instincts were kicking in as her body tingled with excitement. This was her life mission.<p>

She heard jumbled up voices in the next room and peered in the window. She almost pumped her fist in the air when she spotted head of blonde hair through the slightly opened hospital drapes.

The two annoying ones were in there. Damn. Clary peeked through the drapes once more, but they had already seen her. She acted timid and put on a mask of worry.

The two dark haired ones, whom she assumed were siblings silently left the room. Hmm. This may be easier than she thought.

Now the real fun can begin. She rubbed her palms together and on her face, the innocent expression was wiped off completely and replaced with a sadistic grin. Her eyebrows rose to a foreign angle as Jace's eyes widened.

"What t- " Jace started saying but got the wind knocked out of him when Clary punched him where his stomach wound was. Jace blanched. Clary contemplated how to continue her mission with success. Knife or neck? _Crap, _she thought. She had forgotten to be prepared in anticipation of the future events. She gave him a few more blows she could see that his wounds were and loomed over him. He stared at her in pain. Her hands were on his neck and with a moment's hesitation, she squeezed. Although she was to hate Jace and Belle, she still was not as strong as a fully trained shadowhunter. Even nearly crippled ones.

Jace reached out his good arm and pried both her hands off. He held them together with great strength as Clary struggled to kick his side. He hissed in pain but did not loosen his grip. She striked at him again and he momentarily lost his grip. And she ran.

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><p>One down, well kind of, one to go. This one should be easy. Alec raced into the room after Jace had given them specific shadowhunter instructions. Clary lunged towards Belle playing with her dollhouse. Alec ran in at just the moment and snatched Belle. Clary's murderous glare sent flames in the room. If she couldn't get the big one, she would settle for this one. Alec ran into the training room, which gave Isabelle her cue. He ran towards the end on the room, Clary hot on his trail following her victim. The innocent 5 year old in his arms.<p>

The moment Clary set foot on the metal square, a cold boulder-like object hit her back. Dark grey straps slid in front of her like the ones in the laboratory-like room she was kidnapped in. The lightwoods had gotten this contraption unknowing that they would actually use it. They had thought it was useless since enemies could not enter the institute, and there was a house full of shadowhunters, but every institute was required to have one.

Deja-vue, Clary thought. She was in the same metal contraption in a dark room. Although the lights overhead was much brighter. The rest of the room was a greying darkness.

She felt something hard hit her head, and blacked out.

Magnus examined her with a serious expression that looked foreign on his face. Alec and Isabelle, craned their necks to see.

"Well," Magnus turned around abruptly," it seems that her sole purpose is to kill Jace and Belle. There has been some kind of potion that has been injected into her veins making her target at them. "

"Is there any way to you know, reverse it?"

"I don't know, the potion has spread in her body and has been injected close to her heart. Her body has already been infected and reversing the effect would take a stenuous amount of effort, " Upon seeing the worried expressions on Alec's face he added, "I'll do my best."

Isabelle announced that she was going to go fill Jace in about the situation as Alec sat there with Magnus quizing him with questions.

"What happened? I mean how's Clary? Is she-" Jace blurted, as soon as Isabelle came into view.

"Don't worry we knocked her out."

"You what?"

"Calm down, she's fine." It's funny how she was trying to kill him before and he's still worried about her being hit in the head.

"Belle's a little shaken up, but she's sleeping right now." Jace nodded and sank back down into the sheets.

"Clary's been injected with a kind of potion that makes you and Belle her um targets." Isabelle explained.

Jace let everything sink in. It all made sense now. Her actions, her motives. Still , it came as a shock and did not fail to pain him. Although he knew that she was driven by another force, the look she gave him, the anger in her eyes, all hurt him in the worst ways possible.

Isabelle put a comforting hand on his arm.

"Jace I unders- " Isabelle tried to comfort him.

"No Isabelle, you don't understand. You don't understand how it feels to have the person you love most look at you like you deserve to die."

She gave him a sympathetic look.

He held onto the bars on the side of the bed and hoisted himself up. His wounds had almost all healed now.

"Jace where are you going?"

"I'm going to see her."

"No Jace I don't think thats a good idea," But he had already gone.

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><p>Alec and Magnus's heads both snapped up as he entered the room to Clary's side. She looked at him, her eyes shining and her hand stretched out. He took it, and they stayed that way for a whole minute, looking into each other's eyes. Then he abruptly dropped his hand and walked briskly out of the room. Because having the one you love most look at you like they want to kill you, it's like living hell.<p>

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><p><strong>PLEASE READ! heehee - take some time to read the author's excuse will ya ? :)<strong>

**A/N: OMG! It's been forever since I updated. I just realized that. And I got my computer taken away :( **

**Thanks you guys so much for sticking with me even though my updating is HORRIBLE! Especially to my consistent reviewers who've been reviewing since I first started the story last year.**

**Hopefully you liked that chapter and there will be fluff at the end (for everyone that loves fluff). **

**Update on stuff: I'm going to be posting a Maximum Ride story in a little bit so look for that.**

**Great job on the reviews! I got 9 reviews last time! Better than the chapter before that. So 10 reviews this time to get Clary back together with Jace? :)**


	19. Chapter 17 What's left of this

**I'd love you if I could**

**Chapter 17 - What's left of this**

_"I'm never wrong. I once thought I was wrong. Turns out I'm mistaken."_

" - you don't get it Isabelle. "

"So what if I don't? You'll just be running away. Just like her." Isabelle said in a harsh whisper.

"I'm not running away. It's not safe for Belle to be here. Cla- She's not in her right mind." Jace said trying to stay calm and all the while supressing his voice.

"Do you really think she could hurt you guys? Tell me Jace. Do you really think so?"

"No," Jace admitted ducking his head and focused his gaze towards the ground shamefully.

"Look Isabelle. I love her. But we both know that there's a chance she may not get better. Even if she does, it will take a while. I just don't want to look at her everyday and have her hate me. I just need to get away for a little while."

"Fine. But promise you'll visit?" Jace nodded as he stood up making his way towards the doorway.

"I'm gonna go pack." And with that he stepped out of the room. Poking his head back through the doorway, he added, " And Isabelle? This is the last time we're EVER having a heart-to-heart."

Isabelle smiled and rolled her eyes before following him out of the room.

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><p>Jace tip-toed into Belle's room trying not to startle her if she wakes.<p>

"Belle sweetie wake up," He said gently. Belle sat up and rubbed her eyes with tiny fists. As her eyes cleared up, she looked at him confusedly and blinked. "Come on hun, we gotta pack."

"Pack?" she repeated, still confused.

"We're going on a... a trip." He rubbed the top of her head. Belle looked around.

"Where's mommy? Is she coming too?" Jace had forgotten how close Belle and Clary had gotten during the past few weeks. Of course it was only natural since they were mother and daughter, but Jace couldn't help but feel slightly jealous of the fact that Belle already loved Clary as much as she loved him. And Clary had been gone for the most part of her life.

"She's um... at work." Jace saw a hint of disappointment on Belle's face. "But hey it'll still be fun Belle. " He tried to be enthusiastic but Isabelle was clearly much better at that.

It only took an hour to pack considering they were leaving a lot of Belle's toys and Jace barely had anything to pack, just the basic necessities.

They headed downstairs to the main hall of the institute. The Lightwoods and Magnus were already there as Isabelle had already told them the news.

"Are you sure you have to go?" Alec asked.

"Yeah, it's for the best anyway." They gave each other an awkward man hug with Belle and the luggage in Jace's arms. Jace hugged goodbye to everyone, even Magnus. It was a tearful goodbye for Maryse but Jace quickly reassured her it was only temporary.

"Where to?" Magnus asked, getting ready to start the portal.

"Florida." Jace said certainly which caused 5 confused looks, but he just shrugged.

"It would be a nice change." He said as Magnus opened the portal. Taking the luggage and Belle, he stepped into it, disappearing into the purple haze as it started to close up. And a moment later, it was completely gone.

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><p>Jace landed in an alley and walked out trying to seem like a confused tourist. Well, he was kind of a tourist, as he did not plan to stay.<p>

In a nearby overpriced shop for tourists on the boardwalk, he picked up a postcard. After paying for it he sat down on the bench and started writing. Belle sat surprisingly quietly and still, as she probably sensed something was wrong.

_Dear Robert,Maryse, Isabelle, Alec, Clary...once you've "sorted" out your thoughts, and Magnus_

_ Everyone, I'm sorry for how all this played out and how we had to say goodbye on such short notice. I'm writing this - our kind of final goodbye- because I didn't know how to tell it to your face. I know-man up right? As girly as this may seem I love you guys for everything you've done for me these past years. Like how you welcomed me into your family and treated my like I belonged no matter how much shit I caused for you. _

_ Look, the thing is that Belle and I, we're not going to be staying in Florida. We're going somewhere else, so Belle can have a normal life. I've made sure not to leave anything that you can trace us with. This may seem cold, to rid you from Belle's life, but with all the mess that's been going on, it doesn't seem healthy for Belle to grow up like that. _

_ It's hard for me too, to leave all of you guys. The plan is to get a job(I can see you all making faces now, I have been studying and I do qualify for quite a few jobs ), get an apartment, and raise Belle with a normal, mundane life. This isn't forever. Probably in a few years, we'll come back, but for now, this is the best thing to do._

_ We'll miss all of you- yes, even you Magnus. Thanks for everything._

_ Jace _

He looked at the card. Ink was scrawled across the page stating words of finalty. Belle looked at it curiously, with her eyebrows scrunched. Jace stood up, got the few luggage bags in one hand, and in the other, he led Belle away from the bench on the boardwalk.

He found a secluded place, made a small slit opening in the building wall and sent the postcard through it. He imagined someone picking it up now, as these small portals traveled fast.

He dug through one of the bags of luggage and unzipped a hidden zipper. Inside were two plane tickets to San Francisco. He figured that it was a city enviroment so Belle wouldn't get too overwhelmed with all the recent changes. It seemed like a good place to go, and it was across the country from New York.

The airport was luckily only a few blocks away, but Jace ended up having to carry Belle halfway through the walk anyway.

It was bustling with people, but of course that was nothing strange to them. They were from New York for gods sake. What really sparked Belle's curiousity was the largeness of it all. The metal features of the airport was strange and foreign to her. Jace had to call her name quite a few times to get her attention because she would be standing in a daze, looking at everything. Of course that was not wise to do, as she was only a few feet tall and could be easily trampled over. It was though, a good thing, because she stood still the whole time they were in line.

Belle was fascinated by the luggage carousel, but as soon as Jace put their luggage on it, they were called onto the plane. They made their way through the long hallway and into the plane. Once they found their seats, Belle started to get antsy. But the wiggling around was stopped once Jace opened the small window.

Before long, the rumbling started and Belle made a slightly scared face and looked at Jace with a question in her eyes - _what's happening?_ Belle held onto Jace's arms as he patted down her hair, reassuring her that it was okay.

Once they arrived at SFO, they waited through some more lines. And Belle was yet again fascinated by the luggage carousel.

"Look! Daddy that's ours!" Belle tugged on Jace's sleeve frantically, jumping up and down.

"Good job Belle" Jace ruffled her hair and got the luggage before it began another cycle around the machine.

Jace had previously found an apartment, paid for the first month's rent, and had gotten the keys. He knew there weren't many taxis in SF so he had gotten a rental car from a nearby shop.

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><p>Once they got to the house, he gathered everything and locked the car. The outside of the apartment was old style, but it was elegant. They entered their apartment with everything in hand. The inside was homey. There was two bedrooms, one bathroom, one kitchen, and one living room. Jace knew that it wasn't the best house ever, but they had to start somewhere. The house was fully furnished, so he didn't have to worry about that. A few pieces of furniture were scratched and worn down, so he mentally decided to exchange them when they went shopping. He set Belle down on the bed and dug out a few blankets from the luggage and placed it over her. He kissed her forehead and went out to the living room.<p>

Jace, known for his neatness, organized everything in the closet.

Once satisfied, he took a bottle of water from the counter and sat down on the couch. Sighing, he wondered if he had made the right decision. It was too late to back out now, but did he? Was this the right thing to do?

Everything would be a mess if they stayed there. Clary would probably have a better chance of returning to her original state without him or Belle there as a distraction and a trigger. The situation was complicated, something much more complex than anything he had ever been through. Of course the area he was most experienced in was killing demons.

So maybe this is the best thing to do to build everything back up to the way it was from **what's left of this.**

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><p><strong>PLEASE DO NOT SKIP OVER! IMPORTANT INFO<strong>

**A/N: I'm so so so so sorry about my crappy updating. Thanks for getting me 10 reviews! So my goal is to get 230 reviews by the time the story ends. Since there'll only be about 6 chapter left, it'll be kind of a long shot, but if all of you review you'll make my dream come true! I'm serious! **

** Also, the next chapter will be here on May 20, 2012, which is also the first "anniversary" of this story! It's almost been a whole year since I started this story! And there will also be another chapter 6 days after May 20th which is my birthday and I updated on that day last year too. **

** Lastly...**

** What job do you want Jace to have?**

**I was thinking... something with a uniform. Some ideas are : Policeman or Firefighter or a doctor **

**(because they're jobs that are the most similar to shadowhunting, you know saving people from dangers, and it's full of action, and a doctor because since him being a shadowhunter, he gets hurt a lot so he must be pretty good with first aid. He could've also studied the subject in homeschooling)**

**So thats it! Keep up the reviews and tell me suggestions or which you want Jace to be. THANKS! :D**


	20. Chapter 18A past retold,a life forgotten

**I'd love you if I could**

**chapter 18 - A past retold, a life forgotten**

**LOVE - **_It can make the strongest person weak, and the weakest person strong._

**Isabelle **

I lay my head on my arms as I watch the raindrops slide down the window. It was late spring, and yet still, it had been raining for the past 4 days. I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Isabelle?"

"Oh hey Simon." I responded in the most cheerful voice I could muster up. I was normally not a depressing person, I guess the gloomy weather had gotten to me.

"Are you okay? " He sat down in the small loveseat next to me.

"Yeah. I'm just... thinking," He looked at me with worry on his face.

"About?"He raised his eyebrow.

"Just... I don't know. I feel like everyone's gone. I mean we used to be this big happy family - well sort of. Now my parents are always away on some shadowhunter meeting, M-max he's gone, Clary's - you know, and Jace and Belle just fell off the face of the earth. Well Jace did- he just took Belle with him."

"I know what you mean, my mom kind of disowned me." He wrapped his arm around me. "But you have me." He planted a soft kiss on my lips. "So why don't we go check up on Clary."

We made our way into the spare room where Clary has been doing "therapy". She was almost back to normal now that Magnus had taken most of the harmful instincts out of her head. Everyday for the past 3 years, he had been picking out pieces in her memories. Magnus had informed us that she had only a few more sessions.

"Hey Clary! " Simon called. Clary rushed up from her chair and gave him a hug. After the initial greetings, we all settled into our respective chairs. We were supposed to talk like this, at least 3 times a week. The two of us, and occasionally, mom and dad, or Alec and Magnus, would join us. Talking meant us chatting casually and slipping in bits and pieces of information, while Clary rummages through her mind for the memory. We hardly ever bring up Jace or Belle though. Magnus told us that we should remind her of things chronollogically, and that we shouldn't overwhelm her with too much information at a time.

However, that didn't stop her from asking who the blurry blond guy was in her memories. As I said, her mind was still a work in progress. I tried to steer her away from the because I'm guessing it would classify as overwhelming. Opening that door would be opening another hundred. Simon however, was never really good at lying. He blurted his name up, and I watched as her small features scrunched up in remembrance of his name.

The topic of him still came up and she still insisted we tell her. We kept the information to a minimum until we were told she was ready. Apparently repairing a mind was a whole lot more work than a few broken bones, or even most of the bones in your body for that matter.

As the time ticked by, year by year, I couldn't help but wonder if everything would ever return to normal. If what happened can still be put behind us. A few months ago, I never would've believed that it would. As soon as it was announced that Clary would only need treatment for another month, relief flooded through me. And although the chance of finding Jace and Belle were slim, there was still hope. And when they return mom and dad would come back and force family dinners on us. Except now, we would be willing. If everyone reunited, and tried to mend the broken pieces, maybe life can finally be good again.

* * *

><p><strong>Clary's P.O.V<strong>

The ruffled pale white sheets splayed out in front of me as I leaned against the pillow. I sighed and stared up at the ceiling tiles. It was quite repetitive really. Go in the room, lay down, Magnus would wave some sparkly dust over me, and I would give him a mindful as he peeked into my mind. I would talk to the lightwoods and or Magnus of course, and they would tell me parts of my life. Of course not everything really.

They refused to tell me anything about the blonde in my supposed memories. They were clear enough now though, that I could recognize everyone in it. Alec, Isabelle, Magnus, my mother, and even Maryse and Robert. But what had really bothered me was the figure next to them. He seemed to fade and blur around the edges and I could never see his face. He was always there. In most of my memories really, so he must've been important. They refused to tell me anything though, but I was persistant. And I knew I could get it out of Simon. But all I knew was that his name was Jace. The name seemed to roll off my tongue as I tested it in my mouth a couple times. It felt familiar. It felt right. But I could never grasp on to the tiny string of thought that accompanied it.

"Clary? Clary!" I jumped at the interruption of my thoughts. "Relax." Magnus tried to say with a soothing voice, but it doesn't really work for him. It turned out kind of creepy sounding. He gave me a look. Riiighhht... he's digging into my brain and could hear every single thought I have. Not creepy at all...

I tried to close my eyes and relax. They snapped open again when I heard footsteps in the room. I swung my legs over the side of the "hospital" bed, and hopped off. I turned and saw Magnus shaking his head, "All right Clary, that's enough for today."

Rushing over, I gave Simon and Isabelle a hug. They were together now, and I'm happy for them. But sometimes I feel jealous. It's not that I'm jealous of Isabelle for Simon, but I'm jealous of both of them. When I pass their room and I hear her giggling, or when I catch them making out in the hallway; I wonder to myself, will I ever get a happy ending like that? Was there someone in my life before like that? Someone to lean on and share happy memories with? Probably not.

I once contemplated that it might've been the blonde guy. Maybe we had a bad history so they wouldn't want to tell me, but I decided against it because - call me stereotypical because technically my mind was still in high school clique mode - hot blonde guys don't go out with nerdy artistic redheads like me. And besides, I don't think I had such a good history with guys, much less have one with someone as hot as a first boyfriend.

After our "talk"/ therapy session, I wandered down the hallway. I had asked them about him again, and Isabelle and Simon had shared a look. They were hiding something, and I was determined to find out what it was.

There was two floors to the institute. My room was on the second floor, but it was right next to the elevator. They had told me not to go in any of the other rooms, and I obliged. Why? They were shadowhunters, so I didn't want any mysterious weapon or species popping out at me. But today, I was going to risk all of that. The paranoid side of my mind asked me if this was really worth it. Was it? The other side, the determined one, urged me on.

I tip-toed deeper into the darker hall as if someone could hear me. There was a window in the hallway, but I decided against opening it. It would be too conspicuous. There was a door to my right that was clearly locked. But that's what bobby pins were for. I pulled one out of my hair and slipped it into the knob. Giving it a twist, I put my hand on the top getting ready to open it. It didn't open. Maybe it was locked by a locking rune. I pulled out a mini stele (yeah they make those) and drew the rune. The door sprung open.

The sheer blankness of the room almost blinded my eyes. The walls were white, the furniture and bed were white, even the floor was partially covered with a white rug. The closet door was slightly ajar, inviting me to peek in. It was empty, with the exception of 3 shirts hanging in isolation. The drawers mirrored the condition of the closet. I walked along the room, my hand brushing against the furniture, feeling the texture on my fingertips. I stopped at a desk. There was something on it that caught my eye. A picture.

It was a picture of me. Okay, this room was definitely connected to me somehow. Was this my old room? No. It couldn't be. But it seemed so oddly familiar it was unsettling.

I concluded that this room was mostly empty and it wouldn't be much use to me. I made my way towards the door, still subconsiously tip-toeing.

"Ow!" I slapped my hand over my mouth to muffle the sounds of pain that were escaping. I was never known for having a high pain tolerance. I looked down at my right toe and sure enough it was bright pink. Lying right next to it, was I'm guessing what I had stubbed my toe on. It was the corner of a green, blue, and yellow striped shoe box. I crouched down and slid it out from under the bed.

Carefully, I lifted the cover off. Inside, were photos, a few random slips of paper, and some drawings. Shuffling them around, I brought a few up to eye level. It was me and him. It was the classic happy couple picture. The girl smiles at the camera while the guy has his arms around her and stares at her instead. Flipping through picture by picture, they were the same. The two people, smiling, laughing, kissing, everything a teenage couple should be. I touched my face. Was that really me? The girl in the pictures, was it really me? It was the same face that stared at me in the mirror, but the girl in the pictures, she was a stranger. I don't remember ever knowing her. What had happened between them?

I flipped through the rest of the pictures as I leaned against the foot of the bed. I froze.

The picture in my hand. There was a little baby, and I or whoever my twin was in the pictures was holding her and smiling at the camera. Another one, and another, each one with him, "me", and the baby. It couldn't have been a little cousin, or a relative, or even a friend's newborn. Because she had all the features of "us" ;blond hair and green eyes and all.

My head started to hurt as pictures and voices flowed into my head. It was like a dam had been broken and everything had rushed into my mind. Colors flashed around me. I put my head in my hands.

"Clary! What's wrong? I heard y- " Alec glanced at the pile of pictures next to me, and at the state I was in. "Oh no." He cursed under his breath. "Isabelle! Magnus! "

A moment later the story was told to me. And as the story went on, they patted my back and held me as I sobbed my heart out, to the life I lost, and to the people that went with it.

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><p><strong>AN:** **OMG! It's been exactly a year since I started this fanfic! One year anniversary! I started to write this when I was 11 and now I'm turning 13! Time passes by so quickly...**

** I just want to thank everyone who has read this story and remember there will be another update on the 26th. (even if I have finals - so I won't make excuses)**

**ANNOUNCEMENT! **

**So everyone who wrote in a review about what Jace should be, here's the results. **

**1. Firefighter**

**2. Doctor**

**3. Police**

**Thanks so much! I'm 4 away from 200 reviews and 2 away from 100 alerts! **

**... and in case u forgot... Remember to review :) **


	21. Chapter 19 Something to Remember

**I'd love you if I could**

**chapter 19 - Something to remember**

_"It takes 10 times as long to put yourself __**back together **__as it does to __**fall apart**__"_

- Finnick Odair ; Mockingjay

**As promised, here's your chapter! Happy reading! :)**

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><p><strong>Jace's P.O.V<strong>

I shrugged off my uniform and boots as I prepared to go pick Belle up from school. It's been 3 years since we've settled down and I got qualified for this job as a firefighter. It was a close occupation to shadowhunting I guess. But, you know, for nonmythical creatures. I was still saving people, but in a different way of course. It was quite easy physically, as it wasn't as dangerous to me as mundanes. The hard part was toning down the shadowhunting skills which of course meant no flips in the air or jumping off of roofs. I just needed to focus on the job and try not to get engulfed in the flames. Easy enough.

Belle was 8 years old now and in 3rd grade. There are times- hell, every single day - when I feel guilty that Belle didn't have a mother figure. That maybe if I stayed, Clary would've gotten around and we would all skip off into the sunset like a happy family or something. But that didn't happen of course.

I rounded the corner to her daycare center and walked up to where the other parents were waiting to pick their kids up from daycare. The door opened and Belle was the first to come running out.

"Hi daddy!" Belle said excitedly. "Guess what? Today I did..." She went on telling me about her day. I apprieciated every single moment I spent with her. I had to work every single day of the week seeing as I couldn't work night shifts. And she was so much like Clary; before she got possessed.

All in all, our life was good. But I couldn't deny that it was lonely though. I didn't have any friends or family around. I never went on a single date or even made an effort to make any friends. I didn't know what I was waiting for. Perhaps I haven't yet excepted the fact that this was our life now, that there was no going back. Maybe in the back of my mind, I still believed that there was hope for us.

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><p><strong>Clary's POV<strong>

There are a long list of words to describe how I'm feeling right now. Anxiety. Stress. Hope. Anger. Love. Loss. Sadness. Longing. The list could go on and on. But I wouldn't want to bore you.

It's been 3 days since I've heard and pieced together the story of my life. I wasn't too thrilled about the part where I remembered that Valentine was my biological father though. I prefered to call him evil, sick, twisted (you get the idea) man who forgot to use a condom. Really, when you think about it, the name fits.

The past 3 days haven't been really eventful.

**Day 1 :** Freak out.

**Day 2:** Trying to think of plan. Did not work out. Freak out again.

**Day 3:** Frustration has really set in. Freak out some more.

Apparently, they could not trace or track him with any of Magnus's fancy gadgets. ( He hates it when I call them that, because apparently they have feelings and have **special** names.)

I knew I shouldn't panic. But how would you feel if you were possessed and tried to kill your daughter. Then, the love of your life and your daughter disappears to god knows where, and you're left alone without a clue as to where to find them. I bet you would be freaking out too. Not to mention they may hate me. No. They would hate me. But I just needed to see them. I need that little bit of hope.

I laid my head on my pillow and drifted off.

***Flashback/Dream ***

_There was a breeze that blew across my face, splaying my hair on my face. I brushed them away annoyed, and tapped my foot on the wooden floor as I waited to enter the Institute. _

_ There was a chime as the door opened allowing me in. As soon as I got to the second floor, I took off my coat. There hung a few leaves peeking out of the fabric. I just hung it on the rack, figuring I would pick them off later._

_ "Hey,"Jace said coming out of one of the room. "Missed you." _

_ "I missed you too."I said as I stepped into his embrace. We shared a quick kiss as I sat down on the edge of the bed. _

_ "What have you been up to all day?" I could see the twitch at the corner of his lips, looking at my appearance in amusment. I wasn't surprised. My hair was tangled and quite a few leaves and twigs have been blown in my hair. My clothes were disheveled from my frustration and I had a temporary scowl of annoyance on my face. I shook my head signalling that I didn't want to talk about it. He put an arm around me and we leaned onto the pillow. _

_ "Where do you think we'll live once the baby comes?" I asked. I had been thinking about this question all day, so it wasn't like I just randomly asked out of the blue. _

_ He didn't seem fazed."Where do you want to live?" _

_I wasn't sure I wanted to raise a child in the city. It would be so easy for her or him to get lost. I wasn't sure how I would feel to move away either. I didn't want to leave my family and friends behind. But I reminded myself that this baby and Jace were my family now too. But I also grew up in a city, and it would hard for me to leave this place._

_ So I answered, "Somewhere near the water. It would be so beautiful. The sunsets, the strolls on the beach. I could sit by the windowsill forever and draw the scenery. "_

_ "How about San Francisco. You know, in California?" I gave him a quizzical look. "I've been there once with - when I was younger." He cut off. We didn't like to speak of him, so we just avoided the subject. "It would be perfect. It would be by the water. We would still be living in the city, and there are plenty of little suburbs around."_

_ "Yeah, that sounds nice." I smiled and laid my head on his shoulder as I rubbed my stomach. He touched his lips to my head and I sighed. Not in anger or frustration, but in contentment. Because this was one of those moments when I felt completely happy, and completely sure that nothing could happen and ruin it. Well, that's where I was wrong._

***Flashback/Dream Over***

It was like a lightbulb flashed in my head. I shot up and got off the bed. There was a pulsating throb in my head and the room spun. I held my head in fear. What if I was getting possessed again. But after a moment it slowed, and everything returned back in place. Oh. Right. It was just a head rush. Talk about anticlimatic. Bet I got you all worried there. And yes between the demon possessing and therapy, I got paranoid. Big surprise. And did I mention I picked up on a bit of sarcasm to annoy Magnus when he pokes around in my head?

"Isabelle! Isabelle! Isabelle!" I hollered like maniac as I ran to the elevator.

"What?" She came running out of her room.

"I think I know where they are!" I didn't need to elaborate as her eyes widened.

"You do?"

"San Francisco!" I was practically yelling every single thing that came out of my mouth. Her face scrunched up as she tilted her head.

"Why?"

"I remember now. We talked about it once. That once Belle is born, we might move to San Francisco."

"Are you sure Clary?"

"Well it's worth a try, right?"

" So what are you going to do?"

"I'm gonna go find them." I said with determination and finalty.

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><p><strong>AN: OMG! I'm finally 13! Which means I'm finally a teenager!**

** Ok so sorry for the shortness of this chapter, but I had to write it in one sitting, and I was kinda out of it by the last page... **

**But thanks for the reviews and alerts! This story has over 200 reviews now! I can't believe it! And I have 105 alerts! Thanks so much! :)**


	22. Chapter 20 Time has healed us

**I'd love you if I could**

**chapter 20 - Time has healed us**

_"Trying to forget SOMEONE you LOVED, is like trying to REMEMBER someone you NEVER met."_

**A/N: OMG! Longest chapter I've ever written. I was about to cut it in half... but you guys deserve it so... ENJOY! :)**

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><p><strong>Clary's P.O.V.<strong>

I squeezed my eyes shut as I waited for the ground to stop shaking. I grasped at my clothes for some sense of stability. This way of transportation wasn't of my liking, but it got me places quickly.

Scrambling to my feet, I cautiously looked around. Tall buildings surrounded me, and the glass windows reflected specks of light in my eyes. I pondered for a moment. How would I even begin to look for him. It was unreasonable to go knocking at every door. Finally, deciding to look for a giant yellow phone book, I started to walk the streets with a small suitcase trailing behind me.

A few minutes later, I found one on one of the side racks in a store. I cradled the large book in my arm and used my free hand to flip through. What name would he be listed under? Lightwood? Herondale? I even tried Wayland, but no one with those last names came up. A small bit of my hope sailed off. Then a thought occured to me. Of course he wouldn't use his real name if he didn't want anyone to find him.

After walking the next few blocks, I still could not conjure up anywhere to start looking. Houses by the water? There were tons, I couldn't possibly go to all of them. My determination did not falter though.

On the next curb, crowds of people were gathered. Picking up my pace, I joined the crowd. A large building, possibly an apartment was slowly burning to smithereens. The yellow tape and the police were the only thing keeping everyone a far distance from the building. Some were crying, I supposed someone they knew lived there. I stared at it. It was a perfect metaphor of my life.

A loud siren almost making me shove my hands over my ears sounded and got louder and louder. A blaring firetruck came into view and stopped right at the entrance. 3 firefighters in their gear ran into the building. 2 more followed. I opened my eyes wider, seeing a blonde head. Was I hallucinating? He turned his head suddenly and I knew my answer immediately. It was him. It was definitely him. I couldn't have been more sure of anything in my life. For some reason I started screaming. I knew people's safety was first, but the sounds escaped me and the words just continued flowing out.

What I screamed? I screamed his name. Over and over again. Tears flowed down my face as the situation settled on me. By some cliche, coincedental, one-in-a-million chance that I found him. In the midst of all the drama, an impulse so strong flowed through me, that it made me charge towards the house leaving all my sensible thoughts behind with the people on the sidewalk.

A police officer held me back. I shook my head and struggled.

"Miss, you need to calm down. " A hand pushed me back to behind the tape. I collapsed into a fit of tears and somehow, I ended up lying on the concrete falling silent with his name right on my lips.

I awoke to a white ceiling staring back at me. I groaned as I sat up, holding onto the bars on the edge of whatever I was on. Looking around at my surroundings, I realized it was a hospital. My head hurt when I tried to think back to what happened. A nurse came in, and gave me a friendly smile.

"How are you feeling?" She asked me as she neared.

"I - uh - I ... why?" I finally managed to get out.

"Honey, you fainted at the site of the apartment that burned down on (**insert street name**) street. " . She looked down at her clipboard which I assumed had information about me. "Well, it seems we couldn't find anything that caused you to faint. We think it was caused by childhood trauma or just the sheer shock of it all."She looked at me sympathetically. " Luckily, every resident was saved. A firefighter was killed in the process though. He's a hero. Did someone you know live there?" I shook my head unable to talk. My heart was beating so fast it almost burst.

"J-jace..." I stuttered as tears rolled freely down my face.

"Do you want us to contact a family member?" I shook my head yet again. "I'm going to get a doctor, and if he says it's okay, you may leave." I watched as she exited and hugged my knees to my chest and prayed. I was so close, but I could be a day too late. And the thought just killed me from the inside.

I left the building luggage in hand, and wiped away the tears from my cheeks. I scrunched my eyebrows in determination, trying to keep myself from assuming the worst.

The fire station closest to the fire must be the one to go to the scene of the fire. After three different types of transportation and a series of confused thoughts later, I finally arrived. Just as I arrived I heard some voices and footsteps approaching the entrance. I hid at the corner hoping it was him to come out.

And as cliche as it sounds, it was him. He got into a black car, and drove. Running to the cab, I told the driver to follow the car. I seemed like a real creeper, but I didn't care. My heart hammered in my chest and suddenly my clothes felt a size smaller against my skin.

As we parked, a car behind his, I watched him make it up the stairs. I watched as he opened the door and a woman in her twenties came out, along with a little girl, Belle, trailed behind her. Had he moved on? I watched as he bid the woman goodbye, which told me that she was the babysitter. And I watched as he turned his head towards my direction. And I hid. As I hid, I asked myself how I had gotten to hiding from my "husband" and daughter. It wasn't the life I had ever dreamed of having. After all we endured, this one thing had kept us apart and torn our relationship to pieces. So here I was, crouched in the back of a cab, looking at them from afar.

I untangled myself from the crouched position and scrambled through the contents of my purse. After paying the driver and taking my suitcase out from the back, I slowly made my way up the path. I could feel small, uneven,rounded stones beneath my flats turn to sharp jagged rocks the path made a slight curve up to the house. I stared at the stairs. For the past few years, they had been here. At this house, when the Lightwoods had been frantically searching for them.

Hoisting my suitcase along, I climbed the steps, trying to keep steady. The light on the porch and I stood to the side, afraid he might see me before I was prepared. I had called Isabelle earlier today, who passed on the news of course, and had offered to fly out here. I told her to wait a couple of days and she finally agreed, giving us some time alone. I ran the track of what to say through my head in a loop again and again until I was practically sure I had memorized it.

I extended my hand,resting the cushion of my pointer finger on the smooth circular doorbell, and quickly retracted. I was practically shaking. But in the end, after a few moments of convincing myself that it was now or never, I pushed it. And in a few moments, the door flung open, and what appeared behind it, was a little girl.

Blonde hair, green eyes, and looked to be about 8. She looked up at me, her eyes wide with curiousity. An overwhelming motherly feeling rushed through me and I restrained myself from rushing over and hugging her. But she would probably think of me as a stranger who attacked her.

"Dad! " She called with a surprisingly loud voice. I heard a set of footsteps come down the stairs. I braced myself and hid in a corner. No I really didn't. But that was what I did in my mind.

There he was. Jace. He still looked the same as he did in my regained memories.

"Daddy, who's this?" She looked up at him in her polka dotted pink pj's. He was still in a trance though and he was staring at me, eyes almost popping out of its sockets. Jace was usually calm and collected, a witty comment to every situation. Belle was still trying to get his attention, yanking on his arm and dancing wildly beside him.

Snapping out of his trance, he said," She's..." He trailed off. "Clary." He finished with a whisper. "Why don't you go back upstairs, Belle." He said with a gentle voice and patted her hair down.

"Can ... I come in?" I shivered a bit. It was getting a bit cold and now I didn't have to worry about getting the door slammed in my face. He looked back to make sure Belle went back up the stairs and then back at me. Looking me up and down like an animal searching to see if this person was an enemy, he finally nodded and stepped to the side. I looked at him from the corner of om eye. He was wearing a white T-shirt that showed his muscles and jeans. It was one of the most casual things I had ever seen him in. Back then, he wore mostly shadowhunting clothes with a T-shirt here and there.

Behind me, he closed the door and I was greeted to the house. Most of the lights were on and the room shone. It had wooden floors and a wide entrance to a living room that Jace had led me to. He gestured to the cream colored couch and as I sat down, I almost melted into it. It was the single most comfiest couch I had ever sat on. He took a seat on the other end. A pregnant silence took over the room for a minute.

I cleared my throat slightly to not sound obnoxious but still get his attention.

"So... it's really nice." I paused and clarified. "The house."

"Thanks." He said. "It was a dump when we got here, but I fixed it up a bit and now.." He gestured with his hands to the room. "It's gotten better."

I smiled at this. He was always a neat freak, and he used to argue that he just liked everything in the proper place so he could find it. I looked around the room and sure enough, everything was "in its place".

"That's good." This had all the elements or an awkward conversation. The awkward silences, the clearing of throats, the unconversational answers that would allow the awkward silences to set in, were all there.

"Do you want something to eat?" He asks and I nod. I had forgotten to get lunch and it was now a quarter past eight.

**10 minutes later...**

He'd gotten me a sandwich and I had settled back into a chair and table set back in the living room.

"She looks a lot like you." I say before taking another bite.

"She has your eyes." He said. We were tip toeing around each other as if one thing said wrong could set the other off. He couldn't meet my eyes either.

"Jace. Look at me." I said suddenly. "I'm cured." I stared into his eyes, pools of gold. "Magnus has been poking through my brain ever since and I'm cured. I'm not possessed anymore. Look at me, can't you see I'm not possessed?"

"Your eyes were black." He made the observation to himself, his eyes distant.

"Everyone really misses you. They want you to come back. And please, I want to be part of Belle's life. I want to be her mom. I missed out on 8 years of her life because of a stupid mistake. Please."

He didn't give me a straight answer."How did you know where to find us?" He said softly.

"You said..." I started. "We were going to move here. Once Belle was born. We were going to raise her in the suburbs, by a city, overlooking the ocean."

"You remember." He said. I smiled sadly as I pictured it in my head. We could've had all of that. But instead, here we were, talking about all we **could've** had.

"Of course."I scooted closer and took his hand that was lying on the couch."We all miss you. I miss you. Please." I looked at him with hope in my eyes.

He turned his palm upward and held my hand, his golden eyes shining with promise. We somehow ended up just a couple inches away from each other. I looked into his eyes. I knew he was slowly warming up to my presence. In his eyes, I could see happiness, and hopefulness, but I also saw uncertainty. I blinked to clear my eyes of the moisture that had formed. And the next second, his lips were on mine. It took me by surprise, but I quickly responded. He leaned over me, and pressed me to the couch, supporting his arms so that he wouldn't squish me. I reached my fingers up and tangled my fingers in his silky blonde hair. I ran my fingers through his hair and pulled his head closer, deepening the kiss. I bit down lightly on his bottom, and a sound came from his throat. He swept his tongue over my bottom lip and I allowed him entrance. A tingle went through me as our tongues touched. Our tongues battled for dominance, Jace clearly having the upper hand in deepening the kiss. He always has. We finally broke apart for air. I was of course breathless, but as I looked over at him, a tint of pink appeared on my cheeks. I realized I had been panting like a dog, while he looked just fine. Well, of course since he was a shadowhunter, he was trained to hold his breath a little longer than a normal person.

Suddenly, we were teenagers again; sitting on the couch, hands clasped, with swollen lips and disheveled hair.

"So," I said smiling,"is that a yes?"

"Clary," He took my other hand in his. "I do want you back in our lives. But we can't pack everything up and move back to New York. It's the middle of the school year, Belle's friends are here, and I don't know if she'll be willing to move."

"They just want you back to visit. They want to know that you and Belle are okay." I said and he nodded. There was a long pause as I tried to conjure up the courage and the right words to say. "So, what are we?" I peered up at him from my gaze on the ground. His eyebrows furrowed and he looked at me. "Well, we technically are married." That earned a chuckle from him. "D-Do you," I stuttered."Do you still want to be with me?"

I knew he could see the emotions turning inside me in my eyes. "I still love you Clary." He said, looking straight into my eyes.

"I love you too." I smiled with tears of joy in my eyes. Rejection had been weighing me down the entire time I had been here. He pulled me in for a hug. He buried his face in my hair and I put my head against the spot where his neck connected with his shoulders. We stayed like that for awhile. I clung onto him in pure happiness. I could've stayed like that forever, but alas he pulled away as a small voice spoke.

"Mommy?"

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><p><strong>Jace's POV (This might be boring because I'm going to go through their whole conversation over, but adding in his thoughts.)<strong>

I was just upstairs changing out of my dirtied clothes and throwing them in the hamper when Belle's voice rang out throughout the house. I quickly threw on a white shirt at the edge of the bed and bolted downstairs. As I neared the bottom of the stairs, I saw Belle standing by the door which was open. I shook my head and made a mental note to give her another talk about opening the door to strangers.

Except it wasn't a stranger she opened the door to. It was her. The person I hadn't seen in 3 years, and had haunted my dreams ever since. I stared at her. With her flaming red hair and bright green eyes, she stood at my doorstep, suitcase in hand. I heard the faint voice of Belle asking me who this was and felt a small tug on my arm.

"She's..." I swallowed and trailed off thinking of how continue the sentence. "Clary." I said with a whisper. "Belle, why don't you go back upstairs." It was her bedtime anyway. I didn't know what to tell her before figuring things out, and in this mental state, I wasn't sure I could.

"Can... I come in?" She asked and I could see that she was shivering. I looked back towards the direction of the stairs to make sure Belle had gone upstairs. I looked at her with a million questions in my head. Why was she here? Is she still... demon possessed? But I nodded and stepped aside for her to come in.

I led her to the living room where we both took a seat on the couch. She cleared her throat. "So... this is nice." I raised a brow. "The house." She clarified.

"Thanks." I said. "It was a dump when we got here, but I fixed it up a bit and now.." I gestured with my hands to the room, desperate to make conversation. "It's gotten better."

"That's good." She said, looking around. I looked up at the clock. It was a little after 8 and she must've been hungry if she hasn't eaten anything.

"Do you want something to eat?" She nodded and as I stood up to go to the kitchen, I could've sworn I heard her stomach grumble. I smiled to myself and shook my head.

**10 minutes later...**

"She looks like you." I turn to her in disbelief. Belle looked almost exactly like Clary! Their uncanny resemblance sometimes caused me pain when I looked at her.

"She has your eyes," I argued. It was true. Belle had the exact emerald green eyes.

"Jace, look at me." I looked at her. "I'm cured." I figured as much since she hasn't attacked us yet. "Magnus has been poking through my brain ever since and I'm cured. I'm not possessed anymore. Look at me, can't you see I'm not possessed?" I had looked at the ground and looked back up at her.

"Your eyes were black." I said thinking back to the memories that had been at the back of my mind. As she pleaded me, it took all my strength not to act on what had been on my mind since she walked through the door. Finally, I couldn't take it, and I kissed her.

I could tell she was surprised at first, but she quickly reciprocated.

"So is that a yes?" She said. I thought about it. I wanted to go back. I really did. But I had to take Belle into consideration.

"I do want you back in our lives. But we can't pack everything up and move back to New York. It's the middle of the school year, Belle's friends are here, and I don't know if she'll be willing to move." I explained. I did agree to visit though.

"So what are we?" She asked the question I had been dreading. "Well, we technically are married." I chuckled to myself. "Do you still want to be with me?" Of course I did. And I didn't want her to think otherwise. I quickly reassured her.

"I still love you Clary." I looked right into her eyes.

What came out of her mouth next made my heart swell with happiness. Sounds girly but I swear, I nearly jumped up in happiness. But of course I kept a calm composture and leaned forward to embrace her in a hug. After moments of silence, a voice interrupted us.

"Mommy?" Belle! I had forgotten to tuck her in.

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><p><strong>Belle's POV<strong>

I picked out my favorite pj's and pushed in the drawers before going downstairs to watch TV. The doorbell rang and I ran to the door, curious about who it was behind it. When I opened it, I saw a woman that had bright red hair that looked a bit messy to me, and green eyes that looked at me curiously.

"Dad!" I called. I looked back at her,and before long, I heard footsteps on the stairs.

"Daddy, who's this?" I asked him. As I looked up, he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at the red hair lady. I tugged on his arm and waved my hands in front of him to get his attention.

"She's" He started and whispered,"Clary." His voice was so quiet I couldn't hear him correctly. Carrot? The lady did have red hair, but why would someone be named carrot?

"Why don't you go back upstairs, Belle" I ran back upstairs and heard the door closed. I peeked down the stairs to make sure they were in the living room and went to the last few steps. I sat down and felt the cold wood on my skin. I shivered. I could hear voices and leaned forward. Then I heard daddy get the lady a sandwich. I got bored, so I peeked around the wall.

It was a little bit far away so I only caught bits of their conversation. "I'm cured." What does that mean? Did she have a cold or something?

"Magnus ... poking through my brain ... I'm cured. I'm not possessed ... I'm... possessed?" I was really confused,and a little scared. She seems dangerous.

I couldn't hear anything for a while. Curious, I poked my head out from behind the wall. I hope they wouldn't see me.

Ew! They were kissing like in those grown up movies daddy wouldn't let me see! He was all pressed up against her like he was squishing her on the couch. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried not to make a sound of disgust.

"So... are we? We... still married." Still married? When had daddy married someone besides mommy? Unless the lady was... I held in a gasp. Daddy always told me that mommy loved me, but I always questioned, then why isn't she here. Maybe she came back now.

More silence. I stood up and walked quietly to the living room. They didn't notice me yet, and were hugging.

"Mommy?" They turned and looked surprised. The lady's green eyes that matched my own filled with tears. She nodded and I ran up to her. Hugging her, and seeing her close up, I realized she looks exactly like the lady in the picture that I'd seen in daddy's room.

We ended up in some sort of a group hug, and I smiled to myself. I wasn't going to be one of those kids who had to explain why they had only one parent anymore. I have a family now.

**Clary's POV**

When Belle came out and hugged me, the happiness that filled me was overwhelming. Tears formed in my eyes and fell freely down my cheeks. I hugged her tightly to me. I turned my head slightly to the left and saw Jace with a small smile on his face. I opened up my arm and included him in our hug. This was our little family. Things can be good again, like they should've always been. Maybe time has healed us enough to put the past behind us. And maybe this time, our fate would be on our side.

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><p><strong>AN: Hope this wasn't too anti climatic! Only a couple chapters left. And wow... the "chapter" that I posted asking about the POV's had a ton of typos. Just to let you know, it wasn't like that when I typed it up. But luckily the point gotten across and you guys understood. :)**

**Ok questions! **

**1. What do you think about the cast so far for City of Bones?**

**Jamie Campbell Bower - Jace (thumbs down from me... but Cassandra Clare did say he gave an amazing audition)**

**Lily Collins - Clary (okay I guess)**

**Jemima West - Isabelle Lightwood (Yeah, she would probably make a good Isabelle ) **

**2. Anyone read City of Lost souls yet? **

**(It was amazing!)**

**3. Opinions on the story cover? **


	23. Chapter 21 New York

**I'd love you if I could**

**Chapter 21 - New York**

_"Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away."_

**(I'm not sure if anyone actually reads these, but I think it's kinda cute so...)**

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><p><strong>Clary's P.O.V<strong>

I wriggled a bit and felt something constrict me. Feeling the hazyness lifted off me, I blinked a few times to clear my eyes. In front of me was the clock, it was 6:30 and beeping noisily. Lazily, I reached an arm out and waved around until I successfully turned off the loud ringing.

Clary : 1 Alarm clock : 0

I smiled to myself. Noticing the arms around me again, I turned and came face to face with Jace. **(lol that rhymes) **His eyes were closed, but he wore a lazy smile on his face.

"Jace," I whispered in case the alarm had not woken him up. "Wake up."

He grinned wider and made a sound of protest, his arms tightening around me. I tried to get up again once more before succumbing to the comfort and relaxed back in his arms. He rolled over so that he was completely facing me, then jerked his arms back. Confusion settled on my face. He shook his head and chuckled. Giving me a quick kiss on the lips, and jumped off the bed. Did I smell mint?

He stood at the edge of the bed. "You can get showered and I'll go make breakfast."

"But what about you?"

"Already did. Figured you'd want the shower when you get up." I did seem to smell the scent of lemons and soap, and now that I thought about it, the tips of his hair were still damp.

"You could've just joined me." I suggested. He raised an eyebrow at that.

"That kind of defeats the point of my romantic gesture, doesn't it? Not that I'm not willing to give it a try." He winked. I laughed and fell back, flopping onto the pillows. A certain thought appeared in my head, and I sat up just as quickly as I had laid back.

"So you just feigned sleep the whole time?"

He smirked. "I'm not that nice." I smiled and hopped off the bed and strode over. Without caring about my morning breath, I gave him a long kiss. Before long, we ended up with disheveled hair and my legs were hooked around his hips.

"We should really get ready now." He put me down gently. Wow, the years have really got to him. I-don't-give-a-shit Jace had become way-too-responsible-for-his-own-good Jace. I don't have any doubts that he's become a great dad to Belle.

I waltzed into the bathroom in the midst of all my happiness , but not before stealing another kiss.

When I got downstairs, it was 7. Belle was not up yet, so it was just the two of us. I took a seat in one of the chairs on the kitchen island and watched as Jace flipped pancakes skillfully.

"Never took you for the cooking type." I commented.

He shrugged. "I always cooked here and there, you know Isabelle. And then we moved out here and... we couldn't live on take-out forever."

He put three pancakes on an empty plate and drizzled an abundant amount of syrup on before sliding it across the counter to me. He knew I liked my pancakes practically drenched in syrup. As he poured the batter with one hand, he handed me a fork with the other, that I took eagerly and begun to shovel pieces of pancake into my mouth with a drop of syrup sliding down my chin.

He glanced up at me as he finished making the last of the pancakes. I flushed a deep red, my mouth full. He chuckled.

"I'm going to get Belle up." He said before he exited the room. A couple of minutes later he returned, trailing a couple feet behind Belle. They were both dressed. I furrowed my brows. I had forgotten they both had school and work. I guess I shouldn't have expected their lives to stop just because I decided to suddenly show up.

"What's wrong?" He took a seat next to Belle and took a bite of his own pancakes with much more diligence than I had.

"Oh I , um" I cleared my throat and quickly recovered. "was wondering if I could pick Belle up from school today."

" Sure, the babysitter's called in sick today anyway. Thanks." That, I frowned at. He shouldn't be thanking me for picking up our own daughter. It just felt so wrong to me. A pang shot through my chest but I ignored it and turned to Belle.

"Good morning, Belle!" I tried to say cheerfully. I sounded more like a teacher greeting her instead of her mother. I had no idea what to say or what to do. That didn't stop me from having motherly instincts.

"Morning." She said with a mouthful of pancakes and looked up with eyes that matched my own.

"Well," Jace started as he got up to clean his plate. " I gotta go to work. " He said to both of us. Then to me he said,"Belle usually walks to the bus stop just at the corner."

He placed a kiss on both of our foreheads, grabbed the keys, and rushed out the door.

I ended up walking Belle to the bus stop anyway, before heading back to the victorian style house. Of course, all the houses around here were like that. It had an old authentic feel to it. I walked into Jace's room and ventured over to the window. Opening it, I looked out with a smile. Sure enough, there was that ocean view I had long ago dreamed of.

After hours of drawing, I shifted, feeling the ache in my back. There were pages and pages scattered around me. Glancing up at the clock, I realized it was already time to pick Belle up. She was supposed to get out of school in 20 minutes. I grabbed my bag and was halfway out the house when a thought hit me. How would I get there? The address he gave me was at least 8 blocks away. Backing back into the house, I put hand on my forehead, praying to myself that I wouldn't start freaking out yet. I pulled my phone out and scrolled down the contacts on instinct looking for someone to call, but realizing I knew no one here except Jace. As I got down the list, I saw Jace's number. Sneaky little- Before I finished the thought, a note caught my eye. It looked out of place on the door.

Apparently, on my frantic rush out, I didn't see a giant note stuck in the middle of the door. I mentally facepalmed and read the note. On it was the bus route that would take me straight to Belle's school and back, and underneath was the phone number for a cab.

I decided on calling the cab, in case I was late, and I would take the bus home. After many trips up and down the steep roads, I paid the driver, grabbed my purse, and made a beeline for the entrance of the school. It was a small, gated school, painted a fading peach color. Pushing through the glass doors, I glanced frantically at the small clock behind the office counter. A minute to spare, I thought to myself. I sighed in relief as I found that there was only one path to the rooms. Making my way down the corrider, I glanced at the crinkled paper with smothered writing in my hand and looked up every few seconds.

Finally matching the shiny painted numbers on the door that was currently to my right to the numbers on the paper, I stepped inside. The room led to a large seating area, full of people. Women mostly, some accompanying small toddlers by the toys in the divided corner, and some had situated themselves on the chairs lined against the walls all around the room. Everyone was chatting enthusiastically, familiar with each other. When I entered, the door led out a squeak and a slam behind me. All faces were turned towards me. A burning feeling made it's way to my cheeks. I wasn't the type to enjoy being scrutinized by every eye in the room. Taking a seat on one of the maroon colored chairs, I fixed my stare to the ground. Conversation seemed to return to it's normal state although some were whispering and there were a few wandering eyes studying me, the newcomer. Discomfort settled itself into my stomach.

A ringing caused my head to snap up. I let out a breath and stood up, along with the others. The mint green door opened and a flood of children rushed out. Colors and smiles were pouring out of the classroom along with trails of laughter and constant chattering.

"You must be the new housekeeper." A woman with long auburn hair to my right spoke. She seemed to be only a couple years older, or even the same age as me. She smiled a tight smile.

"Actually - " I was cut off by a voice.

"Mommy!" Belle exclaimed, shooting out from the doorway and crashing straight into me. And suddenly all the attention had returned to me. The woman raised her eyebrow.

"You're Belle's mother?" She looked incredulous.

"Yes." I said holding in a smirk. She obviously looked jealous, along with a couple other faces in the crowd.

"Well we've got to get home. Nice meeting you," I held my hand out for a stiff handshake, and led Belle out, satisfied with myself. It felt strangely nice to be envied for once.

I hurried downstairs once I heard the front door close with a slam. Jace dug through his pocket fishing out a couple pieces of white paper and placed them on the counter before pouring himself a glass of water. I picked them up curiously.

"Jace, what -" I raised them up.

"They're plane tickets to New York." He said them slowly as if he was speaking to a toddler.

"I know, but why? Are you moving back?" I swatted his arm playfully. He winced.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," He waved his hand to make his point.

"Just let me see." I started tugging his jacket off.

"Trying to undress me already?" He said with a smirk.

"Shut up." I slid his shirt off and held his arm up to eye level. Along the entire length of his arm was a long puckered up gash. Large amounts of blood was encrusted along his sleeve.

"What happened?!" I exclaimed. I was still unaccustomed to injuries like he was.

"I just got cut with glass Clary. It's not like I'm dying." I glowered at him, and he held up the universal sign of surrender. "I'm kidding. Besides, I had this." From his pocket, he pulled out a pocket sized stele.

"Well that's still not funny." I glared at him more which he found amusing and chuckled, pulling me in. He dipped his head and kissed me. When we broke apart, I was lightheaded and my mind was hazy. I spot the tickets from the corner of my eye, reminding me of our original topic of discussion.

"So, about the tickets..." I trailed off.

"We could go back for a visit, and if Belle adjusts well, we can consider moving back."

"I'm happy you decided to go back, even if it's just a visit." I couldn't deny that I was worried he wouldn't agree to it. I stepped forward and felt his arms encircle me. In his warm embrace, I laid my head on his chest. We stayed that way for a while, seperating only when we heard feet pad into the kitchen.

"Belle! Guess where we're going?" I looked up at Jace for his permission. He nodded. "We're going to New York."

" We're going to New York? " She repeated and I nodded.

"We're going to New York!"

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><p><strong>AN: Hope everyone hasn't forgotten about this story. I feel really bad for not updating ( so yes, I'm not dead) ,but I wanted to get a chapter done before I start school on the 28th. I actually started writing this chapter over a month ago. The reason I didn't finish until now was because I recently made a Deviantart account and well, I'm kinda obsessed with drawing now. So anyone on there, friend me? My username is xlockandkeyx. Comment on my page if you've been reading, and I'll watch and friend back. :)**

**I actually have a Clary and Jace drawing... didn't turn out so great but check it out anyway?**

**Remember to review! :D Thanks to all of you who did last chapter!**


	24. Chapter 22 Begin again

**I'd love you if I could**

**Chapter 22 – Begin again**

_ "Whenever I close my eyes, I picture you there. Im looking out at the crowd youre everywhere._

_ Baby, you don't have to worry._

_I'll be coming back for you, back for you, back for you,_

_ Lately,I've been going crazy._

_I'll be coming back for you,back for you, back for you, you_

_(Back for you) **One direction **_

_(**Yeah I'm a directioner :) **** )**_

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><p>Clary's POV<p>

The plane ride went smoothly save for the couple times Belle got bored and decided to take a walk up and down the aisles. And the abundant amount of times the _very _friendly female flight attendants to ask if we (*cough* Jace *cough* ) needed anything.

The lightwoods were overjoyed to say the least that Jace and Belle were back. It got quite emotional at first, but once they sobered up, a million questions were thrown his way. And then came the smiles, hugs and kisses.

As everyone scattered about the institute, we went up to his and Belle's room to unpack. When Belle stepped into her room for the first time in 3 years, she made a face. I scanned around the room and understood. In the corner, there was a crib, with pink ruffles dangling from the sides. There were small toys in the storage cabinets, and clothes that were many sizes too small.

"You're a big girl now huh Belle?" She nodded. "Then we're going to have to do some redecorating." She smiled and yawned. I figured she must be tired after refusing to sleep on the long plane ride. Luckily, the bed in the center of the room was still big enough for her. She jumped onto the bed and seemed to fall asleep the second her head reached the bed.

I smiled and tucked her in. When I walked into Jace's room, he was bent over shirtless putting some clothes in the drawers. I stared. That was all I could do at the moment. I know what you all are thinking. So ok I admit I was kind of checking him out. But I'm telling you, who wouldn't? He stood back up and pulled on a shirt from behind him. When he saw me standing by the doorway, he smiled and began walking towards me. Stopping in front of me, we sort of had that moment in the movies, you know when you stare at each other for a while and then start to make out? And without notice, he started kissing me. It wasn't the kind that was short and sweet. In fact it was the complete opposite. It was the kind that was driven by passion. The kind where you just kiss the heck out of the other to satiate the fire burning inside you. I lifted his shirt up, and he threw it over his head, which defeated the purpose of him putting it on a minute ago. I wrapped my arm around his neck and I almost didn't notice as he hoisted me up and over onto the bed. He leaned over me, our lips never separating. Well, until 15 seconds later when Isabelle decided to come into the room and screech "My eyes!" Her hands shielded her face to emphasize her statement.

Magnus peeked in behind her, and added " Hey Clary, who would've known. I thought you would be on top, you know with the whole female dominance thing." We both glared at him.

"Well, when you're both finished doing it like bunnies in the afternoon, come down for lunch." And with that, Isabelle turned her back and walked out, Magnus winking at us before following her. I started to get up, pushing at Jace's chest and landing back on the bed with a thud. I looked up to see him smirking. After a while of protesting, and resisting an adorable pout that had situated itself on his face, I managed to sit up. I grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the room.

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><p>Three months later<p>

I tapped the end of the pen against my mouth, quickly becoming frustrated at the crossword. Because of my unfortunate habit of using a pen, ink splatters covered the paper and most of my hands. Sighing I put the pen down and got up from the velvet fabric covered chair. I sauntered off to the training room. Belle didn't get home from school until 3 and with that time, everyone immediately took advantage to tend to shadowhunting business. As you can assume, Jace had sold the house and brought all their belongings back to the institute. Belle had been enrolled in a school here in New York. Everything was finally setting into place, like how it should've been. But a taunting voice in the back of my head told me that this did not seem to be the end. Still, I pushed aside my paranoia and continued on.

Behind the wooden door I could hear grunts and the sound of sharp metal coming together. Inside, Jace was up in the air, swinging through the ropes and doing multiple flips as if it took no effort at all. Below him, Alec followed, although not quite as graceful as Jace. Sweat broke out on both of their faces, both had not acknowledged that I was in the room. Concentration radiated from Jace. His brows furrowed as he tried several tactics to defeat his opponent. I, being me, tripped over my own feet, and landed with a thud. Their heads snapped toward me.

"Sorry, I was just…" And then I wondered, what was I doing? I let my sentence trail off, hoping one of them would say something to break this awkward staring contest between the three of us. I looked from one to the other. Jace. Alec. Jace. Alec.

Finally Alec cleared his throat. "Clary, would you like to try?" He takes a step forward and holds out his weapon. A long, silver sword with a smooth brown colored hilt.

"I don't know, I haven't…" I eye the weapon cautiously.

Jace raised one eyebrow and made an expression as if daring me. "Come on Clary, you know I'll go easy on you."

I glare at him, and he takes a few steps back putting on a mocking scared expression. "Fine." I snatch the sword and walked up to face him. After that, I think Alec left. But I didn't know anything but the determination that surged through me. My skills were those of a beginner, but that didn't stop me from wanting to prove myself to him.

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><p>Jace was over me. His hand gripped my wrists against the mat effortlessly whilst I struggled against him. Events of the past minute swirled in my head. I couldn't even process how I ended up in this position. Stopping my struggles, I looked up. His eyes were burning with intensity, gazing down at me. The color turning a dark gold. And all of a sudden we were making out again. My life was complete, I sighed to myself like a lovesick teenage girl. And we didn't emerge from the room for another 2 hours. <strong>(haha they're doing a lot of…..stuff because remember, they're in the reunion phase and were seperated for years. And who can resist Jace right?) <strong>

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><p>"Come on Belle, you have to get to bed now," I told her. We decided on a movie after dinner. Belle of course won the right to choose the movie due to Jace's inablility to say no to her. By now, Jace was half asleep himself, but had made enthusiastic noises when Belle pointed something out on the screen. I couldn't help but giggle a little at that. I stood and walked Belle to her room to get ready for bed. And when I returned, Jace had gone.<p>

I found him already in bed and patted the spot next to him and motioned for me to turn out the lights. I laid my head on his naked chest and curled up against him. He wrapped his warm, sinewy arm around me and pressed a kiss at my temple. A peaceful silence blanketed us in the darkness.

After a long while, I said, "I missed you…. while you were gone." We had swiftly avoided the subject of the past since he came back, focused on living in the present.

"I did too." He took another breath, and I waited for him to continue. "I used to imagine us together again. All the time. Before I left, Magnus told me there really wasn't a chance you were going to get better. I wanted to get a fresh start. That's why I cut all ties from New York, from my family, from… you. Because if nothing would ever be the same again, I didn't want to remind myself of what could've happened." I stayed silent. I couldn't believe he was telling me these things. Sometimes, it was like pulling teeth getting him to open up. "You know, mothers, they have some kind of maternal instinct. But I don't – I didn't know what I was doing. I was just a teenager when we had her. I didn't know wether I was doing something right or wrong."

I reached up and stroked his face, "You did great with her Jace." I kissed a spot on his chest lightly and he gave me a small smile.

"Before I was … better, I hated you, like my whole mission in life was to hurt you. But for some reason I still missed you. I wondered who you were, and where you were. And as I started to remember, I missed you more and more." I said in the same hushed whisper.

I scooted upwards and whispered into his ear, "I love you."

"I love you too," he replied in a breathy whisper. I leaned up and kissed his lips. Just once. He held me tighter against him and we fell into a peaceful slumber, holding hands. Just like before.

I had had my doubts about us. If we would just pick up where we left off. Would it be impossible? Were we meant to just move on?

I've found my answer. We would begin again. Right where we were on that night. The night that changed everything.

A/N: I know there is absolutely no excuse for not updating for 3 months. I'm so so so sorry!

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><p><strong> AN: I hope I've cleared up some things in this chapter (which is short, sorry, I started writing this back in september but I didn't have time to finish and post)**

**Theres only one chapter left. Epilogue! 6 years later. I already have some things in mind, but I would love to have your input of what you want to see in the next chapter. **

** Thanks so much to those who reviewed last chapter! Would you press that little button down there? It would make my day!**


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